Shiningmoon's Story
by heatherstorm
Summary: A history of the roleplay in a clan called Leafclan, told from the point of view of my character, Shiningmoon, who suffered what she liked to call 'heartbreaks' throughout her life.
1. Tree Jumping and Medicine Cats

It all started when I was just a kit. A small one, at that. Shiningkit was my name then, all those seasons ago... I was named for my bright amber eyes, so they say. Anyway. Ever since I had seen the medicine cat, Leafsong, save a cat's life, I had wanted to be a medicine cat like her. I wanted to smell herbs every day, to speak with Starclan. The problem arose when Gingerkit came. She was a sweet little thing, white and ginger patched, and I took an immediate liking to her, even as a kit. But as she grew older, she became aware of what she wanted. And she wanted with all her heart to be medicine cat.

"Hey, Gingerkit, want to go find some herbs for Leafsong with me?" I called to the ginger-and-white kit. "We can ask. I bet they'll let us go." Gingerkit purred and nodded.

"Sounds fun." We bounded over to the medicine cat den.

"Leafsong!" I called into the den, my voice echoing in little ripples around me throughout the cave.

"Yes?" she responded, poking her head out of the crevice.

"Me and Gingerkit want to gather herbs for you. Can we go, oh please oh please?" I asked, pleading with my eyes. Gingerkit nodded solemnly.

"We promise we'll be good and come back in time. We'll get the right herbs." she smiled. "I know almost all!" I shot her a glance and quickly nodded.

"Me too." It was true. I did. And so did Gingerkit. I sighed, and Leafong gave us a long, suspicious look, but didn't say anything.

"All right," she said after a pause. "Run along."

"Yes!"

Gingerkit and I ran out of camp together, tails twitching excitedly. Along the way, I saw Faint.

"Hey Faint, come with us! We're going herb gathering!" Faint smiled in her serious way. She didn't have a proper name yet, because she wasn't born in the clan. Actually, neither was Gingerkit, but she came to Leafclan very early in her life. Faint had only come recently.

"Sure." And the three of us were off.

"Let's look for marigold," I suggested.

"Or dock," added Gingerkit. Faint just gave us this look. I smiled at her.

"We'll help you find the right herbs," I assured her, and promptly dug up a clump of marigold.

"You just get the flowers, not the roots," Gingerkit pointed out. I blushed.

"Whoops." I tore off the flowers and leaves, because I knew the leaves were important, too, and lay them aside. Feeling foolish, I quickly moved on.

Between the three of us, we eventually gathered substantial piles of marigold, dock, tansy, and juniper berries.

"Wow, we did a good job," I said, examining our work. Gingerkit and Faint nodded in synchronization. Gingerkit shot us a sly look.

"Shiningkit... Faint and I haven't shown you how to tree-jump yet, have we?" I shook my head, curious.

"Well then, come on!" Quick as lightning, Gingerkit was up a tree, and Faint followed her, laughing.

"I didn't know you could climb," I said, bewildered. Gingerkit shrugged a little.

"Well, when my parents left me, whoever they are, they left me in a tree. Did you know that?' I shook my head, uncomfortable with talking about Gingerkit's parents, and struggled up the tree to sit next to the pair of kits.

"Now what?" I meowed, looking around.

"Now," said Faint, "We tree-jump." She dug in her claws, braced her legs against the tree, and sprung to the next tree over. Leafclan was very full of trees. Quickly, she moved on to the next one, and the next one, until she wasn't really stopping at each tree, she was... flying. There was no other way to put it. It looked so graceful and smooth. Gingerkit smiled.

"She can do it _loads _better than me. Watch." She sprung from the tree, and began to tree-jump. It still looked amazing, even if it wasn't quite as graceful as Faint's. Out of breath, both of them landed on the tree I was perched on. I stared at them, dumbfounded.

"You want me to do that?" They nodded. I shook my head. "I could fall! I can't..." Suddenly, Faint gave me a shove from behind. I went flying towards the next tree, and landed on it with a thump.

"Whoa." I sat there, catching my breath, before bracing my legs, digging in my claws, and leaping to the next tree. It really did feel like flying.

Soon we were all tree-jumping, giggling madly and whizzing by one another. After hours, I stopped on a large, broad-spreading oak tree.

"Leafsong will be worried," I pointed out, and in no time we were down on the ground again and trying to fit all the herbs in our mouths. I jerked my head towards camp, being unable to speak, and we headed back.

"You sure did a good job," Leafsong observed, examining our piles. "What took you so long, though? I was beginning to be worried." We all exchanged glances.

"Nothing," we all said at the same time, and left the den.

The next day, I woke up bright and early.

"Gingerkit! Want to go tree-jump with Faint?" She yawned, her little pink mouth showing.

"Sure." She prodded the black she-cat sleeping next to her, and soon all three of us were out in the woods. I looked up and saw black clouds looming over us.

"Those don't look too good," I said doubtfully, but Gingerkit shook her head.

"Don't worry, Shiningkit, it will be fun. We'll get back before the storm hits." Shrugging, I scampered up a tree alongside the other two and we began. Wind whooshing by our pelts, the feeling of freedom, like you ruled the world... it was all there. And then it started to rain. First it was a trickle, and we kept right on tree-jumping around each other, giggling excitedly. But it quickly mounted to a torrential downpour, and it happened. Faint's sure black paws slipped from the wet branch. And she went crashing down to the ground.

"Faint!" We cried in unison and jumped down from the tree. It wasn't good. She had been cut by the branches, and blood was everywhere. Her leg was at a funny angle, and she was unmoving. Gingerkit and I stared at each other, panicked, and the she snapped into action.

"Marigold. Cobwebs. Rushes." She began rattling off a list of herbs she thought she'd need. I started to help her, but then a piercing cry rang out, from the direction of camp. I looked to Faint, then to camp, Faint, camp, until I was dizzy. What should I do? Gingerkit bit her lip.

"I'll take care of Faint. You go back to camp." I nodded, and Gingerkit nodded back, face set and determined. I could tell nothing would prevent her from trying her very hardest to save her friend's life. I sprinted back to camp as fast as I could, and when I arrived, I saw what was going on. Mistypool was lying in the center of camp, moaning, her swollen belly contracting. She was having her kits.

"Where's Leafsong?" I yowled.

"She went to get herbs," came a panicked reply. That was Silverpaw. "It was a while before Mistypool started... no one knows what to do!" I stared for a second, then snapped into action, putting thoughts of Gingerkit and Faint out of my mind.

"I need cobwebs and borage," I said decisively. Silverpaw nodded and went to fetch them. I knew she had wanted to be a medicine cat apprentice as well. But that dream was over. Wasn't it?

When she had returned, I knelt in the rain beside the queen.

"Take deep breaths," I began. "Focus on relaxing. I have herbs for you, but you have to get through this first, ok?" Marbletail nodded quickly, struggling to breathe more slowly. I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment, then opened them. I had to do this. Suddenly, Marbletail gasped, and out came the first kit. I bit open it's little sac and began licking it, then the second one came.

"Silverpaw, can you lick that one?" I called, and she nodded. She had an envious, sour look on her face that I ignored for the moment. When the third kit came, I could tell it was over. The three healthy kit lay wriggling and squirming until they found their mother, and Marbletail smiled warmly at me. I patched her up with cobwebs and gave her some borage, anxious to get back to Faint, and she spoke.

"Thank you, Shiningkit. You have talent" I glowed from the inside out, and ran back to my friends with a bounce in my step. I had done a birthing! All by myself! But my spirits lowered when I saw my injured friend, her black pelt rain and blood-soaked. Gingerkit was bending over her, and Faint was covered in cobweb bandages.

"You saved her life," I murmured. Faint's eyes were open, and she nodded slightly, wincing and smiling at the same time.

"She did," she croaked. I instantly felt small. What Gingerkit had done was ten times bigger than what I had just done.

"Help me get her back to camp," Gingerkit said quietly, and together, we transported the injured Faint back to the Leafclan camp.


	2. A Variety of Ceremonies

A moon later, Faint was in excellent condition, thanks to Gingerkit and Leafsong. Leafsong was watching both Gingerkit and I, I could tell. To decide which one of us would become her apprentice. I could feel the tension rising, and I could tell Gingerkit could, too. We were both close to our six-moon birthdays, and Firestar had decided that we would have our ceremony on the same day, as they didn't know exactly how old Gingerkit was.

The day before the apprentice ceremony, Gingerkit came up to me with a serious look on her face.

"Hey, Shiningkit? Can I talk to you?" I nodded, and we moved to a more private part of camp. She took a deep breath.

"I just wanted to say that... Shiningkit, you're a great friend, and I don't want this ceremony to change that. We both know that only one of us will get the position of medicine cat apprentice, and I want to be sure that it won't destroy our friendship. Promise me we'll stay friends, no matter what."

"No matter what," I agreed solemnly, and that was that.

The day of the ceremony dawned bright and clear, and I was on my paws in an instant, already nervously twitching. My last day as a kit. My last day in the nursery. And I would find out my destiny. I padded outside, yawning and stretching, and saw Gingerkit sitting in the clearing, staring at the medicine cat den, unmoving.

"Hey, Gingerkit," I mewed, and she started, turning around.

"Oh. Morning, Shiningkit. Today's the day." I nodded, biting my lip in anxiety.

The day moved slowly, and Gingerkit and I spent most of it pacing the nursery and staring at the medicine cat den. Finally, near sunset, a call came from the Highrock.

"Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey join here for a clan meeting!" Came Firestar's announcement. My stomach instantly clenched, and I forced my paws to carry me to the gathering place. This. Was. It. Gingerkit shot me a look, and I returned it. I remembered our agreement, and I nodded slowly. She nodded back, and we both faced forward. My teeth were clenched together, and my claws were digging into the earth. Faint was beside Gingerkit, looking good as new and ready to become an apprentice, sure that her destiny would be a warrior. I envied that. If only I could be sure, positively sure, that I would get the position of medicine cat apprentice...

"It is time for Shiningkit, Gingerkit, and Faint to become apprentices," Firestar declared. "Will those kits please step forward." Willing myself to move, I strode forward until I was in front of the flame-colored leader. I didn't notice the other two step up beside me. And then Firestar assigned the mentors.

"Faint, your mentor will be Bramblepelt. Shiningkit, your mentor will be Cinderclaw. And Gingerkit, your mentor will be... Leafsong." Crashing despair. Tears welled up in my eyes, but I forced them back and made myself touch noses with Cinderclaw. He was a good cat, but he wasn't a medicine cat. Gingerpaw (that was her name now) was smiling broadly, a look of relief etched on her face, and Faintpaw was looking between us, unsure as she touched noses with her new mentor. I wanted to be alone with my sorrow, alone. When the cheering had died down, I dashed out of camp, scrambled up a tree, and tree-jumped. I went in a random direction, tears blinding me as I went as fast as I could. When I could only see the tops of trees all around and couldn't hear Gingerpaw being congratulated anymore, I stopped and jumped down from the tree I was in. I landed in a clearing unlike any I had seen before.

A stream wound through it, and the grass underpaw was springy and full of life. I crossed over to the stream and looked into it, staring at my reflection. I noticed with a slight shock that my eyes were no longer glowing. They were a dull brown, no longer shining with amber light. Little did I know that they would not regain their light until much, much later.

I dipped my muzzle into the stream and drank, following some strange urge. Suddenly, I felt very tired, and lay down on the vivid green grass, immediately drifting into shadowy dreams.

"Shiningpaw!! Wake up, come on, you have to do training!" I opened my eyes a crack, and saw Faintpaw standing over me, pushing her muzzle into my fur. "Cinderclaw sent me to look for you, we were all worried you had left for good! Gingerpaw was so upset, she kept going on about an agreement..." I felt a twinge of guilt. I had abandoned Gingerpaw at her biggest moment. I was so selfish! At that moment, I hated myself. What kind of cat was I?

"Shiningpaw? You ok?" I stood up wearily, stretching my stiff muscles.

"Yeah," I said sadly. "I'm coming." The two of us trudged back to camp, my orange tabby tail dragging in the dust, and Faintpaw casting anxious glances at me.

When we arrived, I saw Bramblepelt and Cinderclaw waiting for us, and Cinderclaw looked understanding and sympathetic, not mad like I had expected.

"Let's go train," he said in a gentle voice, and I sighed, casting a glance over to the medicine cat den, where I could clearly see Gingerpaw reviewing the herbs with Leafsong. My eyes narrowed, but I followed Bramblepelt, Faintpaw, and Cinderclaw out of camp anyway.

"First, we will learn to hunt," Cinderclaw meowed. "Let's see your hunters' crouches." Faintpaw immediately crouched down, exhibiting a perfect hunters' crouch, and I bent down, trying to copy her. Cinderclaw examined me, and I waited nervously for his verdict. I had never asked the older cats to tell me how to do it, I had only asked Leafsong how to do kittings or heal a broken leg.

"Good," Bramblepelt said. "Faintpaw, you're doing wonderfully." Cinderclaw said nothing about my crouch.

"Now, in Leafclan, we mostly hunt prey such as mice, voles, and occasionally birds. Leafclan cats do not normally fish, although we do have many streams." I thought of the stream in the clearing I had discovered the day before. Had there been fish in it? "The crouch the two of you are exhibiting would be for hunting mice or voles. But to catch a bird..." I listened to the mentors instruct us on how to hunt sadly and boredly, wishing I could be reciting herbs instead.

"...that's enough for today. Back to camp for the afternoon meal, then we'll go and explore the territory." I could sense Faintpaw's excitement, but I personally could not see what was so exciting about exploring the territory. If we were looking for herbs, yes, but just to see the borders? Boring. When we got back to camp, Faintpaw immediately dug into a plump mouse, and I reluctantly came to eat beside her. I daintily plucked at a shrew, not having much of an appetite. I saw the medicine cat pad up beside me, but I didn't move. "Shiningpaw, I need to talk to you," Leafsong meowed, voice heavy with seriousness. I nodded slowly and got up, following her to an alcove in the camp barrier.

"Shiningpaw... I want you to know that I didn't choose you because you weren't good enough."

"You didn't?" She shook her head.

"You were too strong-willed to be a medicine cat. It wouldn't have lasted. And you are filled with love waiting to spill onto some young tom." Her eyes glittered in amusement. "That is against the warrior code for a medicine cat. Listen, Shiningpaw. You show great promise, but your destiny is not that of a medicine cat. I want you to know that." I nodded, somewhat heartened, and went back to Faintpaw, eating alone. From behind me, Gingerpaw came out of the medicine cat den, looking excited.

"Hey Faintpaw. Hey... Shiningpaw. Guess what? Leafsong said I show real talent, and she's glad that I'm her apprentice!" I shot her a glare, almost forgetting about what Leafsong had just told _me, _and she instantly looked horrified at what she had said.

"Oh- I didn't mean- Sorry, Shiningpaw-" I cut her off.

"It's okay, Gingerpaw. I'm happy for you." I forced myself to smile, to look happy for my friend, but I could feel how fakey it must have looked. Faintpaw grimaced, and Gingerpaw sighed.

"Shiningpaw, I'm really sorry about what happened. You deserved it just has much as I do, and-"

"Gingerpaw," I interrupted her, "No. I didn't. I'm selfish, and look at you, trying to comfort me. You're a great cat, Gingerpaw. Amazing. And I don't deserve you." Picking up my shrew, I carried it with dignity into the apprentice's den to finish. When I was done eating, I rested my head on the moss and sighed, looking around the now empty den. I could've slept in that majestic cave, filled with squishy, green moss and the scent of herbs. But instead, I slept in this little bush stuffed full of other apprentices. At night, at least. Now, they were all training. Like normal warrior apprentices. Not like me.

"Hey- Shiningpaw?" I heard Gingerpaw's voice from the entrance of the den that wasn't hers. When I didn't reply, she just kept talking.

"I know you think you're a bad cat and all, but really, you're a great friend. And I don't want to lose you." She took a deep breath. "Shiningpaw, when we made our agreement before the ceremony, I was serious. I still want you as a friend, okay?" I turned towards her, smiling a little.

"Really?" She nodded. I sniffed.

"Thanks, Gingerpaw. That really means a lot to me. I still want you as a friend, too."

From then on, I made it through training with a small level of endurance, with the help of my best friend, Gingerpaw. Faintpaw was a lot of help, too; it was nice having a friend with you while we were training. We didn't always train together, of course, but when we did it was nice.

Occasionally, I would snap, and I would always do the same thing when I did: run to the clearing, drink from the stream, and sleep for a short while in the springy grass. When I had done so, I always felt better. It was strange, but that's how it went. I started calling the clearing my clearing, because it seemed that I was the only one who ever used it.

Sometimes, when I had to go to the clearing, I felt an aching pain in my chest, and took to calling what had happened a 'heartbreak'. When I had become a warrior apprentice, my heart must have broken. Not literally, I supposed. If it had, I would be dead. But something had happened, and 'heartbreak' seemed to be the best way to describe it. Little did I know that my term would become a legend among all clans. Of course, you'll have to read the rest of the story to find out how _that_ happened.

One day, as I was eating my sunhigh meal, I head a cry from the warriors nearby.

"Jaguarfrost is dead!" They were saying. Our deputy! But... how?

"He was killed by a dog," came the sad voices. "A brave death for a brave deputy." Weeping followed, and the body was placed in the center of camp. I was in shock. I had never seen a dead cat before. It was indeed a horrible sight. Jaguarfrost's body was covered in wounds from the dog, and his eyes were glassy. Firestar bent down and closed his former deputy's eyelids slowly and sadly, and pressed his muzzle into Jaguarfrost's fur.

"Oh, my deputy, how will I run the clan without you?" I took a tentative step forward, but Cinderclaw barred my way.

"Shiningpaw, you didn't know Jaguarfrost that well. Only cats who were close to him will sit vigil beside his body." I nodded and respectively bowed my head, a little distance from the body. Cinderclaw padded forward, and joined his leader by the body of Jaguarfrost. Faintpaw stared in astonishment, and Gingerpaw had a look of terrible sadness on her features.

"No," she whispered. I shook my head in agreement.

"How could this have happened?" I whispered. My voice cracked.

"Starclan must have called. It was his time." We nodded, and remained silent.

A little before moonhigh, I heard the elders whispering.

"He hasn't chosen the new deputy yet!"

"What if he doesn't before moonhigh? What then?"

"Starclan will be angry."

But their fears were for nothing, because just as the moon looked like it was in the center of the sky, Firestar stood and jumped onto the Highrock.

"Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey join here for a clan meeting," he called in a heavy voice, and the cats quickly gathered 'round, knowing that the new deputy was about to be chosen. All of the warriors looked like they were sad and hopeful at the same time. I supposed they wanted to be deputy. I, myself, could not see what was so appealing about being deputy. Sure, when the leader died, it meant that you became the leader, but who would want the responsibility of leading a whole clan?

"I say these words before the body of Jaguarfrost, so his spirit in Starclan may hear and approve of my choice." He paused. "Cinderclaw will be the new deputy of Leafclan." Cinderclaw rose, looking surprised and pleased, and dipped his head to Firestar.

"Thank you, Firestar, for this honor. I will do my best to serve Leafclan." The clan cheered. In spite of not wanting to be a warrior apprentice, I felt a twinge of pride. I was the deputy's apprentice! Faintpaw smiled at me and mouthed, 'wow'. I grinned slightly back at her, and Gingerpaw looked pleased that I wasn't as upset anymore about my 'heartbreak'.

The next day, Silverpaw and her friend Tawnypaw would have their warrior ceremonies. Tawnypaw looked excited, but Silverpaw had the same expression on her face that I imagined I would have when I became a warrior. I saw her cast a murderous glance towards Leafsong, and I widened my eyes in surprise.

"You picked the wrong apprentice," Silverpaw muttered to herself, and padded up to where the clan was gathering. I joined everyone, still thinking about what Silverpaw had done. Was Leafsong in danger from Silverpaw?

"Starclan, these apprentices have trained hard to understand the ways of your code, and I commend them to you in their turn. Silverpaw, from this moment on you will be known as Silverrose. Starclan honors your ferocity and love. Tawnypaw, from this moment onward you will be known as Tawnydapple. Starclan honors your devotion and skill." The two warriors each licked Firestar's shoulder respectively, then stood beside the other warriors. Silverrose just kept right on glaring at the medicine cat, and Tawnydapple was giving her friend strange looks while looking proud at the same time. They would have their vigil tonight. Lucky me, I got to sleep.


	3. A Dark Alliance

The next morning was the day of the half moon. Gingerpaw and Leafsong would take their regular trip to the Star Cave, and, like always, I would be jealous. It looked like I wasn't the only one though. Silverrose looked like she wanted to attack Leafsong. I shot her a glance and moved away, a little frightened. There was something not normal, something _dark, _in Silverrose's eyes. I didn't like it.

When the pair had left, I stayed watching where they had been before sadly for a while, then turned around. Silverrose was no where to be found. She could be on patrol, or hunting. But something told me that that wasn't it at all. Fogshadow, a handsome grey warrior that both Silverrose and Tawnydapple stared at with huge, adoring eyes, padded up to me.

"Hey- Shiningpaw. Have you seen Silverrose? I want to talk to her." He smiled. I shook my head.

"Sorry." And then I ran out of camp, suddenly sure I knew where the young silver warrior was. If I was right and Silverrose had followed Gingerpaw and Leafsong to the Star Cave, my best friend and her mentor could be in mortal danger. I had very little time. I sped up my pace a notch, and arrived at the cave out of breath. Sure enough, Silverrose's scent was all over the place, and I dashed inside, not even pausing to listen to the Starclan warriors whispering things to me, and skidded to a halt when I saw what had happened.

Gingerpaw was on the floor, blood gushing from a deep cut in her leg. Her eyes were wide, and Silverrose was sitting nearby, her claws hovering a whisker's breadth from her own neck.

"Shiningpaw- How-" I shook my head.

"It was Silverrose, she wants-" I gulped. "-I think she wants to kill you!" Silverrose shook her head, as if telling herself that I was wrong.

"You," I growled, whirling on her. "How could you?" She opened her mouth, but I turned away. I heard her run from the cave. "Come on, we need to get you back to camp."

I attempted to drag Gingerpaw out of the cave, and when I succeeded, wrapped her leg in cobwebs.

"We can't wake Leafsong," Gingerpaw panted. "She's... dreaming..." I nodded, and nudged my friend.

"Do you think you can walk?" She bit her lip and nodded, and I helped her all the way back to Leafclan camp. It was a long trek, but we made it. With any luck, when Leafsong woke up, she would return home promptly. In the meanwhile... I had to take care of Gingerpaw. When she was in the medicine cat den, I carefully treated the cut with marigold, then re-bound it with cobwebs.

"That should do until your mentor gets back," I meowed, hoping I had done everything right. I had had no official medicine cat training, after all.

"Thanks," whispered Gingerpaw, and she fell asleep. Leaving her in the den, I went outside and sat, looking for Silverrose. There she was, and she had an odd, strained look on her face. Tawnydapple was watching her, biting her lip.

"Silverrose?" she kept meowing.

"NO!" the silver she-cat suddenly burst out. "I don't- you can't-" she squeezed her eyes shut, and a shadow seemed to emerge from her. I gasped. It cackled, and then a bright light popped up right next to it. It was a Starclan cat! This day couldn't get any weirder.

"You've had your fun, now leave," the Starclan cat said coldly. The shadow said nothing, only laughed evilly again and stared at Silverrose. The she-cat flinched and shook her head rapidly. The Starclan cat growled and leaped at the shadow, and the fight began.

It was like nothing I had ever seen before. Light and dark merged, rolling in the dust, and screeches echoed throughout the now silent camp. They were all watching the mysterious battle. All of a sudden, a cry rang out from the shadow and light, and the shadow slowly drained away. All was silent as the Starclan cat emerged, and looked Silverrose straight in the eye.

"It was a bad spirit," she said in a musical voice. "He possessed you, made you do all those things. The same one has done it before to other cats. I'm sorry." Silverrose nodded.

"Thank you," she meowed in a tiny, shocked voice. So she had been possessed this whole time! I instantly felt guilty, but how could I have known? Tawnydapple stared. So did the rest of the clan.

The next day, Leafsong was back.

"Thank you for taking care of her, Shiningpaw," she told me gently before rushing in to examine her beloved apprentice. I sighed.

"You're welcome," I muttered, before going to get something to eat. Two cats were already at the pile. It was Tawnydapple and Silverrose, and they were arguing. What? They never argued. Never! I edged a little bit closer to catch what was going on.

"He loves me, and you know it!" Came Tawnydapple's voice.

"No way. Fogshadow loves me more than he'll ever love you, that's a fact." I was shocked. The best friends were really arguing over a mate? Just then, Fogshadow came back from hunting. The two bickering she-cats fell silent as he deposited his fresh-kill in the pile.

"Hey Silverrose- could I talk to you?" he said shyly, oblivious to Tawnydapple's outraged expression. She nodded, eyes full of delight. The pair went off to a private corner, and I turned away. So much drama, so little time!

"Shiningpaw- patrol!" came Cinderclaw's call.

"Okay!" I yelled back, and bounded off to do the sunhigh patrol. I guessed I would find out the outcome of the Silverrose-Fogshadow-Tawnydapple love triangle when I got back.

I saw my first snowflake about two moons later. Silverrose and Fogshadow were mates now, and Tawnydapple had learned to be friends with Silverrose again. Winter had brought peace. But it had also brought sickness...

"Firestar has greencough!" Gingerpaw told me as we sat next to each other to eat in the cold.

"It's awful, his nose is runny and he won't stop coughing. Leafsong is afraid." I gasped.

"Firestar might die? Is he on his last life?" Gingerpaw shrugged.

"Only he and Leafsong know that. But if Leafsong is that worried..." she trailed off. We both knew what she was implying.

The day went on slowly, the whole clan waiting with baited breath to find out if their Clan leader would make it. At the end of the day, when the sky was just getting dark, Leafsong came out of the den with a grave, sad expression on her face.

"Firestar has passed on to Starclan," she said softly, and the whole clan cried out in pain. Firestar was dead! Gingerpaw bowed her head, as did Faintpaw beside me. I did as well, and inside I was reeling. Firestar had been the leader since I was born! With Cinderclaw as leader, Leafclan would be a whole new clan. Maybe for the better, but everyone would miss the old, flame-pelted leader.

That night everyone grieved over his body. When we were done, the elders took his body away to be buried, and my mentor set off to get his nine lives. I was going to be the apprentice of a leader? That was going to be hard to get used to...


	4. Beatingheart

_The warrior ceremony..._

Faintpaw was bouncing excitedly as we came back from our assessments. I had done okay, but she had done great.

"We're gonna be warriors!" she cried, spinning in a circle.

"Yay," I replied without enthusiasm. This was it. The final ceremony. I would be a warrior forever now, and unwilling warrior. I would always stare at the medicine cat den in envy as Gingerpaw worked, and would always feel left out, a stranger among my own clan.

"Tree-jump race you back," Faintpaw meowed, obviously trying to cheer me up with tree-jumping. We scrambled up the trees.

"On your mark... get set... go!" I yelled, and we were off, whizzing through the treetops, laughing. I was free of all my worries, I was flying! But the fun stopped when we reached camp.

"I won!" crowed Faintpaw, and I smiled at her, but all my elation had vanished, and I knew it was time for our warrior ceremony. Fabulous. Cinderstar was just making his way over to the highrock, and we quickly took our places. Gingerpaw looked happy for us.

"Faintpaw and Shiningpaw, please step forward," he meowed, and we did.

"Starclan, these cats have worked hard to learn the ways of being a warrior-" I sighed. "-And I commend them to you in turn. Faintpaw, from this day forward, you will be known as Faintbracken. Starclan honors your devotion and kindness." She licked his shoulder, looking as proud as she possibly could, and stood erect next to her fellow warriors. I waited for my doom, clenching my teeth. I was going to be a warrior. This was it. Oh, no.

"Shiningpaw, from this day forward you will be known as Shiningmoon. Starclan honors your love and bravery." _Bravery? What bravery? _I licked his shoulder respectfully, feeling the weight of being a warrior on my own, and stood next to Faintbracken. Wow, was my name really Shiningmoon now? It was a pretty name. I actually felt a little... happy! Gingerpaw grinned at us, and I grinned back at my best friend. We _really_ had different paths, now.

As I prepared to stand vigil, I caught the eye of Grasspelt, a fairly new warrior himself. I smiled and blushed, and he returned my smile enthusiastically. _Maybe it's a good thing I'm not a medicine cat, like Leafsong had said. Now I can be with whichever tom I choose._ But I knew that I would never completely get over my heartbreak, because heartbreaks, sadly, are incurable.

The next morning, the vigil was over, and I could speak again.

"That was annoying," I meowed to Faintbracken, and she shrugged, her eyes still glowing happily. I sighed and padded towards the fresh-kill pile; I was hungry. My first meal as Shiningmoon. As I ate, I became aware that someone was watching me eat. It was none other than the handsome Grasspelt, come for a meal. I swallowed.

"Hey," I meowed. He nodded casually, biting into a vole. When he had finished, he looked at me.

"Want to go hunting sometime?" He asked me, eyes glinting excitedly. I nodded, my broken heart soaring.

"Shiningpaw- wait- I mean- Shiningmoon!" came a cry from the medicine cat den. Gingerpaw came running outside.

"Hi," she meowed breathlessly. "It's weird how I'm an apprentice and you're a warrior now, even though we're the same age." She smiled. I nodded to her.

"Yeah. You're bigger than me, though." She laughed, and Grasspelt smiled.

"I guess I'll see you later," he meowed to me, and padded out of camp to go on the sunhigh patrol, which was leaving. I stared after him, and Gingerpaw watched me.

"Not so bad not being a medicine cat, huh?" she said, and I could tell she knew I liked Grasspelt. I might have been imagining it, but I thought I heard a trace of wistfulness in her voice.

"I still wish I was a medicine cat," I said, though I wasn't 100% positive. "But I'm enjoying the few benefits of not being one." I shrugged. Gingerpaw sighed.

"Something on your mind?" I asked. Duh. Something was on her mind.

"I guess not," she meowed. "Want to help with herb-gathering?" She was trying to change the subject, and it worked.

"Okay!" I said brightly, and we were off. We tree-jumped all the way to the best place to collect thyme, and got a huge pile. We talked and joked the whole time, and I was glad that I didn't have to train. Being a warrior really did have its benefits.

Wolfheart, the new deputy, met me at the end of the day.

"Sunset patrol," she said briskly, and I nodded, following her. Grasspelt and Phantompaw were on the patrol with me, and Grasspelt kept casting me glances. I smiled at him, and he winked. I couldn't wait to go hunting with him.

The next day was when everything changed. It was the beginning of a series of events that would set off something big, something huge. But you'll have to read on.

I was lying in the sun, licking my chest, when I saw something at the entrance to the camp. Eyes. They were moving towards us, and then a cat burst into the clearing. He was bleeding horribly from a wound in his chest, and kept muttering things to himself. His pelt was dark grey and his eyes were yellow.

"No... no.." he moaned. "Save her... save me!" Gingerpaw ran up to him, eyes wide. As did I. I looked her straight in the eyes.

"We may not know him, but if we don't do anything, he could die." She nodded curtly, and ran to her den. I watched the bleeding warrior rave to himself, eyes glazed as if he was seeing something else, and got a funny feeling inside me that I couldn't identify. Before I could do anything else, Gingerpaw had returned with herbs and cobwebs. Leafsong was out gathering horsetail and coltsfoot, so it was up to us.

Gingerpaw quickly bound the awful wound over his heart, and I pressed on them with my paws, hoping to staunch the bleeding. It was a hard task. We replaced the cobwebs about five times before the bleeding had fully stopped, and then we saw the extent of the wound. It was deep, and it was a miracle that he was alive.

The wound must have been a whisker's breadth away from his heart; if it had been a little to the right he would've been dead long ago.

I helped Gingerpaw smear marigold onto the dreadful wound, then wrap it in more cobweb. I propped open his jaws while she put a leaf of thyme in, and stroked his throat so he would swallow. When that was done, we carried him to the medicine cat den and laid him in a moss nest. I stared at the mysterious grey cat for a while before leaving the den, shaking my head. I couldn't seem to shake off that odd feeling.

"Who was that?" Fogshadow asked me, raising his eyebrows. I shrugged.

"We don't know. But we couldn't just let him... die." He nodded understandingly, and I padded into the forest. I didn't go to my clearing. Instead, I just wandered aimlessly. Thinking about... what was I thinking about? The strange cat, mostly. But I was also pondering over the feeling that had entered me when I set eyes on him. It wasn't really unpleasant, it was a tingly sensation, all over, that almost gave me pleasure. I wondered what his name was.

The next day, the cat had stopped his mad ravings, and seemed perfectly sane. Acting on a pull I couldn't identify, I went and visited him. I brought him a mouse, in case he was hungry.

"Here," I said, placing it in front of him. He stared at it, but didn't eat it.

"What is this?" he asked in a deep, musical voice.

"A mouse," I replied, annoyed. "It's good manners to eat it, you know." He raised his eyebrow.

"I have never eaten a 'mouse' before. There was something else..." he trailed off, trying to remember. I rolled my eyes, now very irked. I was just about to leave the den when he spoke up.

"Ah, yes. It started with an 'F', I think. Slippery... delicious..." I sighed.

"You mean a fish?"

"I think that's it," he said, eyes lighting up. I rolled my eyes again.

"If you want a fish, go to Waterclan. We don't fish here." He blinked.

"But what do you eat, then?" I gestured towards the mouse. He looked appalled. I groaned.

"Fine, I'll try and catch you a stupid fish, okay? But you really need to get used to eating voles and mice if Cinderstar lets you stay here." Before he could ask what a vole was, I left the den and ran out into the forest, stopping at a wide stream. Now what?

Unsure, I dipped my paw into the water. A fish, startled, swam away. Cursing myself, I sat and waited. When I saw another fish, I jumped into the stream, trying to land on the fish. I landed in the shallow stream bed, soaking wet, and I watched as the fish swam away from me. I growled, spitting out a fountain of water, and climbed out of the stream.

Glaring, I tried the same tactic about ten more times, each time failing. When I was soaked to the bone, shivering, and in a very bad mood, I decided to try something else. I sat in the shadow of a tree, hidden, until I saw a fish flash by. I stuck out my paw and skimmed the water next to the fish, just missing it. I cried out in rage, then tried again. This time, the fish was flipped out of the water, and I jumped on it, killing it immediately.

Angry at the new cat and sopping wet, I picked up the fish and marched back to camp. I wet straight to the medicine cat den, ignoring the stares of my clanmates, and dropped the fish at the mysterious cat's paws.

"Eat up," I said grumpily, biting into the abandoned mouse. He stared at me, yellow eyes amused.

"Took a swim?" he snorted, barely suppressing laughter. I just glared.

When he was done with his fish, I was about to leave when I turned around.

"I don't even know your name," I said, cocking my eyebrow. He smiled.

"It's Beatingheart." I nodded slowly. What an odd name.

"And yours?" he asked me.

"Shiningmoon." and then I left.


	5. Confusion and Queenhood

That cat was annoying, definitely. But there was still something about him... I shook my head. No. He was just plain annoying, that was it. Beatingheart. I snorted. What kind of a cat was named that? I mean, _duh, _his heart was beating. Who's wasn't?

I almost bumped into Gingerpaw on the way out. She was returning from visiting some new kits in the nursery.

"Something on your mind?" She asked, stopping and giving me a quizzical look.

"Yeah..." I muttered. "It's that new cat. Did you know his name is Beatingheart?" Her eyes widened a little.

"No. That's a weird name. But you shouldn't judge a cat by his name," she meowed wisely, and I nodded.

"Even so. But there's something... odd about him. I just can't put my claw on it." Gingerpaw shrugged.

"Well, you can ask me if you want to discuss something about him with me, but I have no more answers about Beatingheart than you do." I nodded and padded to my den, ready to take a nap. However, before I could get there, I was confronted by Fogshadow.

"Can you come on the sunset patrol?" he asked me, and I sighed, nodding. I knew it wasn't really a question, it was an order. From Wolfsong, most likely.

"Sure, Fogshadow." Fogshadow, Tawnydapple, and I left for the Sunset patrol promptly, and went along the Waterclan border. Everything seemed normal until a cat stepped out from behind a bush. It was a small black she-cat with green eyes.

"Greetings," she said, before we could say anything. She had a slight accent. "I am Hawkflight. I heard a rumor about this clan, in passing." she smirked slightly. I decided I didn't like this cat.

"Go away," I snarled. She glared at me.

"As I was _saying, _I heard that you had taken in a cat by the name of Deadheart?"

"Beatingheart, you mean?" I hissed. Fogshadow glanced at me, eyes full of warning.

"Oh, is that what he calls himself now?" she sneered. "I suppose it makes sense. I have come to warn you about him. Throw him out, into the woods, anywhere. Just don't let him stay in your clan. That is all." With a flick of her tail, the small cat, Hawkflight, stalked away. Tawnydapple snorted.

"What an attitude." I nodded in agreement. Fogshadow shook his head a little.

"Maybe we should listen," he began, but I shook my head.

"I think _she's _the one we have to watch out for, not Beatingheart. What did she call him? Deadheart?" I sorted. Fogshadow nodded reluctantly, and we headed back to camp to report everything to Cinderstar. We found him sharing tongues with his mate, Sandbreeze, who's belly looked a little swollen.

"Cinderstar, we found something on our patrol," said Fogshadow, padding up to the couple. Cinderstar glanced up, and Sandbreeze did as well, green eyes interested.

"There was a cat. Hawkflight, she called herself. She wasn't from around here. She told us to beware of the new cat we took in, Beatingheart, and she said it very rudely. Then she left." Cinderstar's eyes widened infinitesimally.

"How strange," he muttered, getting to his paws. Tawnydapple and I nodded. "I think we shouldn't listen to her," he said finally. "A foreign cat, come to disrupt our clan, no doubt. We should keep a lookout for cats that speak in the same accent, though. Drive them out if you see them." Fogshadow dipped his head, and the three of us wandered off to eat our evening meals. While I ate, I told Gingerpaw and Faintbracken everything that had happened. When I was done, Gingerpaw spoke up.

"Well, I agree partly with Cinderstar," she began, "But I'm not sure. I mean, what is Beatingheart but a foreign cat that came here randomly?" She shrugged. "I don't know. What can I say? He certainly seems likable enough." I nodded.

"Even though he is an annoying furball, I feel like I can trust him, somehow." My two friends nodded in agreement.

When we were done eating, everyone but the cats on guard went into their nests to sleep. It took me a long time to get to sleep, and when I finally did fall asleep, my dreams were filled with Beatingheart and Hawkflight.

The next morning, I woke up later than usual. I trudged outside to get something to eat, yawning, and was confronted by Beatingheart. I noticed that his wound looked a lot better, and wondered how it could possibly heal so fast.

"Any fish in this pile?" he asked hopefully. I groaned and shook my head, sighing.

"I suppose you want me to catch you some more," I yawned, glaring at him. He nodded sheepishly, and I rolled my eyes.

"Fine. But next time, you're coming with me so I can teach you how." He nodded in agreement, and I stalked out of camp, belly empty.

When I arrived at the stream, I sat in the shadows like I had last time, and lashed out at the first fish I saw, bringing it out of the water. I purred, pleased, and caught another one. Carrying them back to camp, I was pleased that only my paws were wet this time. I dropped one in front of Beatingheart, then bit into the other one hungrily, eating as fast as I could before looking up at him. He was eating slowly, watching me. I gulped, realizing that I had probably just looked like a pig, eating as fast as I had.

"I was hungry," I grumbled in complaint. He nodded, smiling his mysterious half-smile, and took another bite of his fish. When he was done, Leafsong came trotting around the corner.

"Beatingheart! You should be in my den, resting!" She said indignantly. He sighed.

"But my wound is much better now! See?" He looked down at himself, and I saw that in the short time I had been fishing, the wound had changed from being part healed to being a small, heart-shaped scar. I stared, but didn't say anything. Leafsong's eyes widened.

"But- how-"

"I heal fast," he explained, smiling a little. She nodded speechlessly, then disappeared back into her den. I gaped at him. He turned back around to face me.

"_You heal fast?" _I spluttered. "Cats don't heal that fast!" He raised an eyebrow.

"What do you propose I am, then?" he meowed, and I glared.

"I don't know. Something... not normal." He sighed.

"Someday, Shiningmoon, I'll explain it all to you. But not now. Now is not the time." And then he got up and padded off into the forest, going who knew where. I stared after him, mouth hanging open. When I realized this, I quickly snapped it shut and stood abruptly, looking around.

_Explain what to me? That he wasn't a normal cat? What was he, then? ...A reincarnated Starclan spirit?_

I padded up to Silverrose, trying to act normal.

"Hey, want to go hunting?" I asked casually. She turned around from talking to Tawnydapple, surprised.

"Sure," she meowed. Tawnydapple lifted her tail, and I smiled.

"You can come, too, Tawnydapple." She grinned.

"Great. I need to stretch my legs."

And we were off. Secretly, I was hoping to spot Beatingheart in the woods, carrying out secret non-cat things, but he was nowhere to be seen. Throughout the hunting patrol, we caught a variety of mice, voles, and birds, but secretly, I was craving a taste of fish again. Maybe Beatingheart had a point, eating that stuff. It was good.

We carried the prey back to camp, and there I was met by Gingerpaw, who was in a panic.

"Sandbreeze's kits are coming, and it's going all wrong!" she cried, running past me to where the queen was panting, blood already in a puddle around her. My eyes widened and I backed away to give the medicine cats room. Now was not the time to act the medicine cat, no matter how much I wished I was one.

Leafsong pushed her way past everyone, carrying cobwebs. she set them down, then bent over the queen.

"Oh, no," she whispered. "she's losing too much blood..." Cinderstar burst into the clearing, crouching down beside his mate.

"Sandbreeze, no, don't leave me, please!" she choked feebly, and looked at the kits she had just given birth to.

"Blizzardkit. Ginkokit..." she proceeded to name her other kits, then rested her head on her paws, and the life went out of her eyes. Cinderstar wailed in agony, and Leafsong's eyes widened, like she couldn't believe she'd let Sandbreeze die. Gingerpaw looked the same way. I was shocked beyond belief. The kits squirmed and mewled, and I took a step forward unconsciously.

"I'll look after them," I said, without thinking. Mousebrain! I didn't have any milk! But Leafsong nodded.

"There are no queens at the moment, so you'll have to do. We can feed them mashed prey, I suppose." I nodded, and felt a thrill. I was going to be the foster mother of Sandbreeze's kits! Cinderstar didn't appear to care, he just pressed his muzzle into his mate's cold fur and wetted it with his tears. Gingerpaw rested her tail on his shoulder gently, it he shoved it off and hunched over Sandbreeze's body, refusing to move. I gathered the kits around me with my tail, and they instinctively searched for milk. When they found none, they mewed crossly.

I reached for a mouse and chewed it, then fed the chewed mouse to them. They ate it with difficulty, as they had no teeth, but they managed it fairly well and looked content when they were done.

Beatingheart chose this moment to return to camp, and looked around wildly.

"Wh-what happened?" We explained everything to him, and then I took my adopted kits into the nursery. When we were situated, I watched them fall asleep one by one, until I became sleepy myself and followed them into the realm of dreams.


	6. Reincarnation and Interrupted Gatherings

The next day, Beatingheart showed up again. I padded up to him, the leader's kits trailing behind me. When I had finished feeing them crushed prey, I looked that cat full in the eyes.

"Where were you?" I asked. He shrugged.

"You know... hunting. Walking. Am I allowed to leave camp, or do I need your permission?" I rolled my eyes, but didn't comment.

"I know you're different. Not like the others." He nodded slowly.

"Shiningmoon, I need to tell you about me. Will you come for a walk?" I glanced at the kits, then at Tawnydapple, staring idly into space.

"Tawnydapple, could you watch the kits for a while? Thanks!" And without waiting for an answer, I followed Beatingheart into the forest. Without realizing it, I led him straight to my clearing. He stopped in the middle of it, looking around.

"This is a beautiful place, Shiningmoon," he said, looking into the crystal stream. I padded up to sit next to him quietly, and he sighed.

"You're right," he began after a long silence. "I'm not like the others. I came from a clan, called Darkclan. But it isn't normal. The cats there are sort of like Starclan spirits, only more alive. We can become alive if we choose. Our leader, Darkstar, was amazing." He sighed.

"I loved her. But then... then they came. Midnightclan. They killed her. Took her away from me. From us. I tried to defend her, and they tried to kill me, too. I only just escaped with my life, and found you." My eyes were wide with all the information.

"This is beyond my comprehension," I whispered. "I'm sorry about Darkstar." He nodded sadly.

"Midnightclan. I can't imagine how one clan can be so evil." I nodded in agreement.

"So.. so you're not.. you're not really alive?" I don't know why the thought bothered me so much, more than it should have. He shook his head.

"Oh, no. I am very much alive. If I die, though, I will go back to Darkclan. It is a good clan, but I like it here." He turned to face me, and I blinked, hypnotized by his gold eyes.

"So enough about me. Tell me about you. Why do you seem so sad all the time? What is this place?" he looked around the clearing, awe on his features. I shrugged.

"My story is dull compared to yours. You wouldn't be interested. He shook his head.

"I want to know," he said stubbornly, and I sighed.

"Okay, well... when I was kit, I really wanted to be a medicine cat apprentice. but so did my best friend. She became the medicine cat apprentice, not me, and now she's Gingerpaw, apprentice of Leafsong. and I'm plain old Shiningmoon, unwilling warrior. This clearing.." I shook my head, unsure how to explain.

"I come here when I am sad. I call what happened to me a heartbreak, and when I think I can feel the heartbreak, I am... drawn to this place, somehow. I- I don't know how to explain." His eyes widened.

"Your story is sad," he whispered. "It deserves being listened to. Much more so than mine." I shook my head in disagreement, and he smiled.

"How about we say that they're equally important, then?" he offered, and I nodded, smiling. I struck the water with my paw, bringing out a fish. I killed it and offered it to him.

"I know your favorite," I teased, and we dug in. He leapt into the water, laughing, and splashed me. I cried out indignantly and splashed him back, and we had an immature splashing fight for the next ten minutes. When we were both worn out and lying on the grass of the clearing, he spoke up.

"Shiningmoon, there's something I have to tell you." I turned my head to listen, once again transfixed by his glorious eyes.

"I think... I think I love you." I blinked, shocked. This new, slightly annoying but wonderful cat loved me? Did I love him back? I thought, and I knew I did. I had for a while, subconsciously.

"Me too," I whispered, and he smiled widely.

We spent the rest of the day in the clearing together, and the whole time I as struggling to wrap my mind around the situation. Was I too young for love? Was this cat not suitable, because he was from some half-dead clan called Darkclan in the sky? I knew the answers, and I knew in my heart that this cat was perfect, no matter where he came from. And I wanted to be with him forever.

The next moon or so passed by in bliss. Beatingheart and I spent almost all our time together, and when I wasn't with him I was with my friends or with my adopted kits. Cinderstar seemed unresponsive to every cat and his eyes were always blank with despair. I wondered if I would look like that if Beatingheart died. Gingerpaw looked sad occasionally, and kept casting furtive glances at Phantompaw. Did she like him? I felt sorry for her. I could have a mate, but if she had one, she would lose her place as a medicine cat, maybe even in the clan.

The kits I was raising were cute, but Blizzardkit had red eyes that were a little creepy, and Ginkokit always seemed sour. Cinderstar visited them occasionally, but never thought to thank me for looking after them.

One day, I noticed that Phantompaw was missing. So was Gingerpaw. What was happening? Had they gone off together? I missed my friend badly, and spent the day pacing, hoping that she would come back. Beatingheart padded up to me.

"Worried about Gingerpaw?" he asked me gently. I nodded.

"I don't know where she is, but I think I have a guess of who she's with..." He nodded. He had picked that up, too. Faintbracken was also extremely worried; Gingerpaw was her best friend. Wolfheart looked like she was on the verge of sending out a patrol to find them when Gingerpaw trudged into camp, and with her was not Phantompaw, but an unfamiliar black cat that looked around apprentice age. Everyone stared.

"This is Jetpaw," Gingerpaw offered. The black cat dipped his head.

"Where's Phantompaw?" Grasspelt called out. He had been sour ever since I told him that me and Beatingheart were together. Gingerpaw seemed to be struggling to find an answer. Jetpaw looked at her, eyebrows raised, as if wondering how she would respond.

"He- he- well, he went to the loner territory, and I followed him, and then-" she took a deep breath.

"And then a rock fell on top of him and he died." The whole clan gasped, but she wasn't finished yet.

"Then Jetpaw showed up. It took us a while, but I finally realized that- that he was Phantompaw. Reincarnated. So I brought him back with me. And that's that." Everyone stared at the couple.

"You- you're not-" I began in a whisper, and she shook her head furiously.

"No. Jetpaw and I are _not _together." She looked like she was about to cry, but pulled herself back together quickly. Faintbracken and I nodded, and then the clan dispersed. Because Cinderstar was... indisposed, we all assumed that Jetpaw would be allowed to stay.

A few weeks later, it was the day of the gathering. I was selected to go, but Beatingheart was not. The kits were old enough to stay in the nursery by themselves now, and Silverrose was staying behind, so she could look after them.

On the way to the gathering. Cinderstar was very subdued. Of course, he always was these days. Wolfheart was having trouble making it up the slope; she was very old and close to elder age. I was bouncing around excitedly, and Tawnydapple was watching me in amusement while Grasspelt glared.

When we got there, it became apparent that Shadeclan was the only other clan present. I sat down, uncertain about mingling with Shadeclan, and watched the other cats pad around, greeting old friends and glaring at old enemies. Cinderstar padded up to stand beside one of the rocks that the leaders stood on, and sat, interacting with no one.

Fireclan came next, and I began talking with a warrior there when suddenly, two lone cats came over the hill into the clearing.

"There they are!" one said. The other nodded and padded up to the other cats at the gathering.

"Hi. I'm Tanglebreath," he introduced himself. I noticed he had a strange accent. Where had I heard that before? Two more cats came up over the hill just then, one a brown tabby and the other... a black she-cat. And I suddenly knew how I recognized the cat's voice.

"Go away," I snarled, and Tanglebreath raised his eyebrows.

"But we're here with friendly advice," he protested. "From Midnightclan! You have to get rid of De- i mean, Beatingheart! He's a threat to your clan!" My mouth dropped open in shock.

"_You're _ Midnightclan? I should've guessed! Get out! Out! He warned us about you." Hawkflight rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, but seriously. When a whole clan warns you about him, who do you listen to?"

"Him!" I snarled. "He's a great cat, more then you'll ever be!" She laughed.

"What lies has he been feeding you?" she said, almost to herself. The other cats around me looked perplexed, but I understood what was going on. These cats wanted to kill him again! I wouldn't let that happen. I would die protecting Beatingheart! I set my mouth in a firm line.

"You are very good actors, but I can see through it all. And I won't let you kill Beatingheart. Never!" Hawkflight and a few others laughed.

"Goodness, if he has you that much on his side, he's ten times better at acting than we are. And we're not even acting!" She smiled, and I glared back at her, refusing to be taken in by her lies.

"Leave our clan and Beatingheart alone," I said through gritted teeth. "You are evil and vile, and we don't want you here." Some leaders were calling for their clans to leave behind me, they could see that the peace had already been broken and the gathering was over. Only Leafclan and Waterclan remained. Hawkflight shook her head, snorting with laughter.

"How can you call us evil and vile with a _Darkclan cat_ inside your camp at this moment? Darkclan is probably the most evil and vile clan there is. I don't understand how you haven't seen through him. And why are you defending him so fiercely?" She cocked her head.

"Because he's my mate! I love him!" I cried furiously, and Hawkflight looked shocked and frightened.

"This is bad," she murmured, and the clan around her nodded in agreement, whispering to one another.

"If you think love is bad, you're even more evil than I thought you were!" I shrieked.

"No, no, love in general isn't bad. But love directed at Deadheart...? That's horrible. I can't believe this. They could completely destroy your clan this way!" I glared at her.

"Leave," I said coldly, and my clanmates around me nodded.

"Beatingheart is ten times the cat you'll ever be," Tawnydapple added. Other Leafclan cats added their supporting comments, and Hawkflight dipped her head.

"Very well. But don't say I didn't warn you." And with that, the Midnightclan cats left.


	7. The Fishscale

When we got back to camp, I went straight to Beatingheart.

"Midnightclan was there!" I told him in hushed tones. He looked shocked.

"This is not good," he whispered. I told him the whole story, and he shook his head slowly.

"I can't let them harm you, or anyone here!" he said, distressed. I pressed against him for comfort.

"I'm afraid," I said in a small voice, and he licked me comfortingly.

"I'll protect you," he promised, and I was instantly reassured. Gingerpaw padded up to me, shivering in the early leaf-bare cold.

"Hey Shiningmoon, Beatingheart. Crazy night, huh?" I nodded forcefully, and she laughed a little.

"Cinderstar isn't looking so good," she added in hushed tones.

"Is he sick?" I asked, concerned. She shook her head.

"No. His heart was broken, like yours. But he can't pull through, like you did. I don't know what he's going to do, but something is going to change. I'm not sure what." Just then, I saw Cinderstar coming out of his den, straight into the nursery. About five minutes later, he came out with all his kits except Blizzardkit. He led them to the camp entrance, and was gone. I stared, shocked.

"Where do you think he went?" I asked quietly.

"I'm not sure, but I don't think he's coming back," said Gingerpaw just as quietly. Wolfheart stared after the leader, eyes blank with shock. Was she going to be our leader now? Beatingheart nudged me.

"We should head to the den. You can barely keep on your paws." I nodded and followed him into the warriors' den, sinking gratefully onto the soft moss beside him, and rested my head on his flank, falling asleep to the rhythm of his breathing.

When I woke up, I saw red eyes staring at me. I jolted to full consciousness immediately, eyes wide, until I realized that it was just Blizzardkit.

"Shiningmoon, I miss my family," he said, eyes brimming with tears. I straightened up, trying not to wake up Beatingheart, and licked the little white kit between the ears.

"Where did they go?" I asked him, curious.

"Daddy said he wanted to go to be a loner, and all my siblings wanted to go too. But I wanted to stay here, in Leafclan. I _like _it here" He sighed, and I nuzzled him.

"Don't worry. The whole of Leafclan will be your family now. I'll look after you. I promise," I said, repeating what Beatingheart had told me the night before. He nodded, reassured, and went outside the den to eat. He was just big enough to eat an entire mouse now, and no longer depended on me for much of anything. Beatingheart stood behind me, yawning.

"Morning already?" he meowed tiredly, then he grinned at me. "Time for breakfast, don't you think? I think I can tolerate a mouse or two." I laughed, and we left the den. After eating our breakfast, he stood.

"I have something for you," he said, winking. I smiled.

"Oh, really? A nice, plump vole, perhaps?" I laughed.

"I'm afraid not." He led me along the winding path to my clearing, and when we were there, he asked me to close my eyes. I did, and felt him place something about my neck. He told me to open my eyes, and when I did, I saw the sun reflecting off a beautiful, shining silver fish scale, strung on a rope of grass that was around my neck. I gasped.

"It's beautiful!" I exclaimed. He smiled at me.

"I'm glad you like it," he whispered, and I pushed my head into his fur, purring gratefully.

"I will wear it always." We spent the rest of the day together, relaxing in the clearing, hunting, and even occasional swimming in the crystal stream. When we got back to camp, the sun was just going down, and Gingerpaw bounded up to me.

"Hey, Shiningmoon! Where have you been?"

"With-"

"-Beatingheart," she finished for me, and we laughed. She noticed my fish scale necklace then.

"What's that?"

"It's something he gave me," I explained in a loving tone. "A token. Of us. I told him I would wear it always."

"How romantic," she sighed, and I giggled a little. Faintbracken yawned and padded past us.

"I'm going to bed," she called. I looked at Gingerpaw.

"I guess I should, too. See you tomorrow!" And I followed Faintbracken into the warriors' den.

The next day, Beatingheart and I ate breakfast together again. All my friends admired my new fish scale necklace, and I glanced gratefully at my mate.

"Thank you," I mouthed. He smiled, then stood abruptly.

"Well, I must be off."

"Where are you going?" I asked, alarmed.

"Just for a stroll, he said in a casual voice, and then he was gone. I blinked and turned to Faintbracken, Silverrose, and Tawnydapple.

"Want to go hunting?" I asked them, looking for something to do. They nodded and stood, and we left. I cast glances around me as we walked, hoping to spot Beatingheart, but he was nowhere to be found.

We hunted for a very long time, when suddenly, Beatingheart burst into the clearing where we were standing. He was panting, and his eyes were wild.

"It's Midnightclan!" he cried. We all gasped in alarm.

"What do those flea-bags want?" spat Tawnydapple.

"Me," Beatingheart told her abruptly. My eyes widened.

"We won't let them take you," I said fiercely. He shook his head.

"No, you don't understand! They will attack Leafclan, kill all of you, just to get to me. I'm a danger to everyone here." He looked directly at me as he spoke, golden eyes filled with sadness.

"I will do anything to save you," I said passionately, and my friends nodded in agreement. He shook his head firmly.

"I can't let you do that," he said. "Shiningmoon, they can't kill you. They can't. Remember what I told you? If I die, I go to Darkclan, where I can maybe return someday. If you die..." he gulped, closing his eyes briefly.

"I can't let that happen. Goodbye, Shiningmoon." He licked my head quickly, then ran off into the woods before I could stop him.

"NO!" I yelled in terror, and collapsed against Faintbracken. The black she-cat caught me, and I shakily got to my paws.

"I can't believe he's going to give himself up!" I wailed, tears welling up in my eyes. Silverrose nodded sadly, bowing her head.

"We could've fought them," Tawnydapple said bitterly. Faintbracken nodded in agreement, and then looked around uneasily.

"We should head back."

The three she-cats supported me all the way back to the Leafclan camp, and I kept staring down at the fish scale charm bouncing against my chest. I couldn't believe he was gone. Not Beatingheart. I thought we would have forever. But we had only had about a year, if that. Now he was gone, forever.

When we told the clan, Gingerpaw's eyes widened, and she shot out of camp. I supposed she meant to follow him, to stop him. I almost came with her. I still clung on to an unreal hope that he would defeat Midnightclan single-pawed and come back to me in one piece.

I spent the day hunched over in a corner of camp, shivering with sadness, fear, and cold. Cats came over to comfort me, but I ignored them until they just left me alone. At the end of the day, it all came crashing down. Gingerpaw came into camp, dragging the body of Beatingheart. He was dead. I ran over to his body, pressing my nose into his cold, dark grey fur.

"Beatingheart!" I wailed. "Why? Why?" My sobs echoed around the silent camp, and more cats that had known and liked Beatingheart slowly approached to grieve. Wolfstar padded up to us.

"What happened?" she asked in horror. I let Silverrose explain, not wanting to speak ever again. When my tears had run dry, I got up and ran, ran until I could run no further, and collapsed in my clearing. Not bothering to even drink from the stream, I lay in the springy green grass, dry sobs erupting from me. I closed my eyes, knowing that they must be even less shining than they had been previously.

I fell asleep shortly, my dreams filled with haunting nightmares about Beatingheart. When I woke up, my cheek was pressed against the charm he had given me, and I clutched it in my teeth, sobbing all over again. When I felt ready, I stood and padded back to camp slowly, thoughts filled with my beloved, dead mate.


	8. To be Expecting

The elders had buried his body when I arrived back at camp, and Gingerpaw was waiting for me, a concerned look on her face.

Fogshadow, the newly made deputy, was assigning patrols in the middle of camp, as if nothing had even happened. I reminded myself that life had to go on, even though the center of the universe, mine anyway, was dead.

"I'm sorry, Shiningmoon," she whispered quietly. I nodded, not trusting myself to speak without bursting into tears again, and she pressed against me, hoping to comfort me.

A little while later, Leafsong padded out of her den.

"Time to go to the Star Cave, Gingerpaw!" she called, and Gingerpaw shot me an apologetic glance, following her mentor.

"Coming!!" I stared after them, sighing, and felt the weight of two heartbreaks on my shoulders. Two. What cat had two heartbreaks? Why did all the cruelty in this world seem to be focused on me?

I padded into my den to sleep, and Blizzardkit scurried up to meet me, pressing his nose into my fur.

"Are you okay, Shiningmoon?" he squeaked in a concerned voice. I shook my head slowly and lay down, missing the warm body of Beatingheart curled against me. Suddenly, I got an idea.

"Blizzardkit, do you think you could spend a night alone?" I asked slowly. He nodded bravely.

"I'm a big cat," he told me, puffing out his chest. I almost smiled.

"Great. I'll be back in the morning." And I raced off, out of camp, into the night. I sprinted with all my might, panting hard. I had to make it there before the moon set. When I arrived at the Star Cave, my destination, I whizzed through the entrance, only to find myself greeted by the medicine cats, just settling down to sleep. I blushed furiously.

"Don't mind me. I just- I have to-" I shook my head and flopped myself on the sandy floor, closing my eyes and ignoring the stares of the medicine cats. I instantly slipped into dreams.

Opening my eyes, I found myself in the realm of Starclan.

"Beatingheart?" I called cautiously. He instantly appeared out of the shadows, and it was like he had never died.

"Oh, Beatingheart! I'm so glad I found you here!" He purred.

"I'm glad you came to see me, though I would've found you eventually." We intertwined our tails and purred happily for a while, then he looked me in the eyes.

"I have news for you," he purred delightedly, and I wondered what it was.

"What?"

"You're pregnant, with our kits!" He informed me. I was blank with shock.

"K-kits?" I spluttered. He nodded, smile fading a little.

"Is that okay?" I nodded, grinning broadly.

"That's wonderful, Beatingheart. I thought we'd never have that chance. I miss you," I sighed, and he nodded.

"Me too. With all my heart." He touched his nose to my fish scale charm, and then was gone. I found myself opening my eyes in the Star Cave, dawn just peeking through the entrance. I stood up and flew out of the cave, hoping that when the medicine cats woke up, they would assume I had just been part of their dream.

I was panting with exhaustion when I got back, and stumbled into the nursery. I actually belonged here now! I still couldn't wrap my mind around it. I was pregnant? With Beatingheart's kits? It was wonderful and amazing and unbelievable all at once. I saw Gingerpaw pad into the den a while later, an uncertain look on her face.

"What were you doing in the Star Cave last night?" she asked me.

"I had to see Beatingheart," I explained. She nodded understandingly.

"Did you find him in Starclan?" I nodded happily.

"And guess what he told me?"

"What?"

"I'm going to have his kits!" I squealed, purring deeply. Gingerpaw's eyes widened.

"Seriously?? That's amazing! Congratulations, Shiningmoon!" I purred, and she smiled, happy to see me happy again. Of course, my heart was still broken. Twice. But the burden of having so many heartbreaks was lifted slightly by the knowledge that I was expecting.

I could already feel the slight nasuia that came with being pregnant, and Blizzardkit was bouncing around with excitement. He was going to have siblings again!

As cats came to visit me and I excitedly told them my news, the camp became filled with gossip. Beatingheart was dead and I was expecting his kits? How unusual! At the end of the day, Wolfstar called a clan meeting.

"May all cats old enough to catch their own prey join here beneath the highrock for a clan meeting!" she yowled, and I came out of the nursery, Blizzardkit following even though he was technically supposed to stay in the nursery. When the whole clan had assembled, Wolfstar began her speech.

"As you all know, I am old enough to become an elder and not quite fit enough to be your leader." We shook our heads, murmuring discontentedly. Wolfstar was a wise leader, she wasn't stepping down, was she?

"I have chosen for the good of the clan to retire my position as leader and to become an elder. I may now be called Wolfheart again, as I am no longer your leader. Fogshadow, you are the new leader of Leafclan." She dipped her head to him, then sprung off the rock.

Surprised and unhappy mews rang around the clearing, but I clearly saw Silverrose warmly congratulating her mate. I envied them. Not because Fogshadow was going to be the leader, but that they had each other.

Fogshadow licked her cheek gently, and raced off to get his nine lives from the Star Cave. I wished I could go with him, to see Beatingheart once more.

I went back to my den, once again missing the comfort of Beatingheart curled against me, and drifted into a troubled sleep.

_Hawkflight was standing in front of me, cackling as more Midnightclan cats arose from around her. Two large she-cats padded up to the black cat, and she dipped her head respectfully._

"_Spottedstar. Rainstar. I have good news! Deadheart strolled into our camp yesterday, and we killed him! Starclan knows if he's really dead or not, odd little Darkclan cat he is, but at least he's out of our fur for a while."_

_The two leaders nodded. _

"_Good work, Hawkflight. You will make a great medicine cat someday, when I am gone," one of them said. I wasn't sure if it was Rainstar or Spottedstar. Hawkflight purred happily._

"_Midnightclan can finally start rebuilding itself!" Said the other of the two leaders. The few cats surrounding them cheered._

I woke up suddenly, shivering and covered in cold sweat. Blizzardkit was a little apart from me, eying me with red eyes.

"You were twitching in your sleep," he whispered to me, eyes wide. I nodded, settling down again.

"I'm sorry, Blizzardkit. I was having nightmares about..." I shook my head, sighing, and he slowly crawled back to me, settling himself in the curve of my belly and quickly falling asleep again. I was afraid I would have the same nightmare if I fell asleep again, so I stayed awake the rest of the night, watching my foster kit sleep.

The next day, I didn't go on patrols. I didn't go hunting. I was a true, honest-to-goodness queen now. And Beatingheart was gone, anyway, so I wasn't in much of a mood to do anything at this point. Blizzardkit sensed my sadness, he was a sweet, sensitive kit, and constantly tried to cheer me up with games and such. None of it worked, but I appreciated his effort and wondered if my own kits would be as perfect.

At times in the next moon or so, I would run to my clearing and cry my twice-broken heart out into the grass, missing Beatingheart profusely. Gingerpaw, Faintbracken, and Silverrose tried to help, but it was never any good. I wanted _him, _and nothing they could do would bring him back.

It was a dreary time for me. Of course, expecting kits was exciting, but also a little scary and I was part dreading the day I would have them. Did it hurt? What if everything went wrong? What if the kits died, because I was too weak? What if Blizzardkit bullied them because they were younger? What if, what if, what if... and on top of all that, I had a nightmare about Midnightclan killing Beatingheart every night, resulting in constant tiredness and sadness. If I could get my claws on that horrible Hawkflight... and what if my dream was true? What if she _was_ going to be a medicine cat? What an awful cat for that position... the clan would end in ruins, surely.

At the end of that moon, my belly was quite swollen. I couldn't see my own toes, even though I was normally very slender, and had to waddle when I tried to walk. Soon, it was time for another Medicine cat meeting. I noticed a gleam of delight in Leafsong's eye as she left with Gingerpaw, and I wondered how anyone could feel delight. I had almost forgotten the feeling of it. I also wondered what the medicine cat was so delighted about. Sighing, I settled into my moss nest with difficulty, Blizzardkit scurrying up to me on stubby legs, ready to go to sleep. I felt like I was his real mother, not Sandbreeze, and I could almost feel my motherly instincts taking over, a result of expecting kits.

Closing my eyes, I had the same exact nightmare again. When I heard Hawkflight cackling in delight, my mate's bloody body at her paws, I woke up, shivering, and looked outside. The sun was just coming over the tops of the trees as I staggered to my paws, Blizzardkit yawning and curling into a more comfortable position as I left him.

I saw a black she-cat and a ginger she-cat slip into camp, and I knew the two medicine cats had returned. I bounded up to Gingerpaw as fast as I could without straining myself, purring, and nudged her.

"How was it?" I asked, licking my large belly. She smiled as she saw me do this, and I noticed something... different in her eyes. Like she was wiser. Older. A different cat.

"Great," she purred. "And guess what? My name's not Gingerpaw anymore."

"You got your full name?" I exclaimed, happy for my friend. "What is it?"

"Gingerspice," she purred. "I think it's a great name. Leafsong's good at picking out names." For a brief moment, I wondered what my name would be if I had been her apprentice, then looked down at my belly again and realized that that path was far in the past for me now, and I should be happy with what I had. Gingerspice smiled at me, and the wisdom in her face shocked me once again.

"You know, you should be having your kits soon," she observed, looking me up and down. "Any day now, I'd say." A flash of panic and excitement washed over me, and my eyes widened in alarm.

"So soon?" I whispered.

"Don't worry. I'll do your kitting myself, with Leafsong's help, and we won't let anything happen to you or the kits. Promise," she said solemnly, and I saw a flash of my friend in those new eyes. I nodded, reassured, and she followed Leafsong into her den.

_Gingerspice... wow. _I shook my head. This was going to take some getting used to. I winced as a spasm of dizziness rolled over me, and I sat abruptly, waiting for it to pass. When it had, I stood and proceeded to hobble back to the nursery, trying to keep my balance on my overweighted paws. Blizzardkit was awake by then, and he stared at me with wide, red eyes as I entered.

"Wow, Shiningmoon, you're _big_," he exclaimed, and I chuckled a little. Blizzardkit knew how to make me laugh, how to take my mind off Beatingheart. But this time, he really _meant_ it.

"Am I gonna have brothers and sisters soon, mommy?" he asked me. He called me mommy sometimes, even though I wasn't technically his mommy. I nodded, and a jolt of panic went through me once more.

"Yes, Blizzardkit. You will." I said softly, and he nodded excitedly, bouncing around. He was the only kit in the nursery and had been since birth, so he was looking forward to having some playmates.


	9. New Life

The next day, a stranger strolled into camp. I flinched, experiencing severe deja vu, but this warrior was light grey in color and had no open, bleeding wounds. He looked fairly sound, if not a little travel-worn.

"Greetings," he said to Fogstar, who had come out to investigate. "I am Arrowhead, come from a distant clan. I came here to stay a while, if that's all right with you." Fogstar dipped his head.

"As long as you do patrols and hunt like every other warrior here, you are permitted to be an official warrior of Leafclan," he allowed, and the strange cat called Arrowhead nodded respectfully.

"Thank you." He then disappeared into the warriors' den, which Tawnydapple had guided him to. She was our deputy now, and very good at the job. I wondered what it would be like to have _her_ as leader. Tawnystar. I couldn't get that into my mind. To me, she was just Tawnydapple, and always would be.

I turned to go back to the nursery when a searing pain ripped through my belly. I fell to the ground, crying out in pain.

"The kits!" I yowled, and both Leafsong and Gingerspice came running. Gingerspice looked anxious and determined to keep her promise, but Leafsong looked completely calm. She had done this many times before. Another spasm rippled through me, and I whimpered, closing my eyes briefly. Something felt wrong. Should it really be that painful? Leafsong's calm expression slowly changed to worried, and she knelt over me.

"Deep breaths, Shiningmoon," she said in a soothing voice. I tried to follow her instructions, but every time I took another breath in it was a jolt of pain.

"Relax." Yeah, right. How was I supposed to do that? I began panting in exhaustion and pain, and suddenly a spirit appeared next to me.

"Beatingheart?" I whispered under my breath as my bloody flanks heaved.

"Yes, it's me. And I won't lose you to this, Shiningmoon! I won't!" His voice was filled with passion. "Do as they say, and please, if it's a choice between you or the kits, choose yourself to live," he murmured. I nodded, trying to relax and breath deeply. It was hard, but after a while it began to feel easier. A spasm rippled through my body, and Gingerspice gasped with delight. She held up a small, dark grey she-kit and bit through her sac, licking her immediately. She resembled Beatingheart almost exactly. I trembled a little, and my mate's spirit nudged me in comfort. I pushed again, and Leafsong began licking an orange tabby tom who looked a lot like me. Was that it? I knew it wasn't as more spasms rippled through my body. I clenched my teeth, letting out a small yowl of pain as my third and final kit was born. She was a puny thing, and resembled neither me nor Beatingheart. She was light grey and delicate, and was shivering. Gingerspice took extra care while licking her, and placed her beside the others.

Then it hit me. It was all over! I had three beautiful kits and I was perfectly intact, though a little blood-covered. Leafsong patched me up with cobwebs and fed me borage, and Beatingheart smiled triumphantly.

"I knew you could do it," he said, and I could hear a smile in his voice, but I didn't look to check. I was too busy staring at my wonderful kits.

"The dark grey one is Ripplekit," I decided, pointing to her with my tail. She squeaked a little and weakly raised a paw. A fighter.

"The light grey she-cat is Lilykit," I said tenderly, naming her after the delicate flower. She closed her eyes sleepily.

"And the last one... Heartkit," I announced. I heard Beatingheart chuckle appreciatively beside me, and he nudged my shoulder.

"They're gorgeous, but not as gorgeous as you," he whispered in my ear, then vanished. I realized that without him, I wasn't alone anymore. I had kits. One looked _exactly _like him, though she was a she-kit, and one was named after him. Gingerspice smiled warmly at me. _I promised,_ she mouthed, and I nodded thankfully at her, smiling in turn. Leafsong sighed happily.

"New kits, finally. Congratulations, Shiningmoon," she meowed, resting her tail on my shoulder briefly before going back to the medicine cat den. Gingerspice followed, casting happy glances back at me. I realized that this was her first kitting as a full medicine cat.

Silverrose helped me carry my three kits back to the nursery, where Blizzardkit was waiting with an overjoyed expression on his little face.

"They're so... tiny," he gasped, scrutinizing them as they snuggled blindly into the curve of my belly for milk that I actually had now. I laughed.

"You were that size, too, you know," I informed him, and he looked shocked. Ripplekit yawned when she was done drinking, and dabbed a paw halfheartedly at Blizzardkit before falling asleep on the spot. Heartkit actually struggled to walk up to the white tom, but his new legs failed him and he fell over, squeaking in slight protest as I picked him up and placed him gently beside his sisters. Lilykit rested her head on her brother and fell asleep in that position. Heartkit mewed, then followed his sisters into slumber. Blizzardkit stared at them.

"I'm kinda tired too," he said, tilting his head and examining the small space beside the newborns.

"Go right ahead," I invited, and he shrugged, lying down next to solitary little Ripplekit and drifting off to sleep. I closed my eyes as well and somehow knew that I wouldn't have nightmares that night.

The next week or two was perfect, except for the fact that Beatingheart was missing. But after a while, Ripplekit's eyes opened and I found that she had his perfect golden eyes, and I celebrated. Heartkit started to act more and more like Beatingheart, and between the two of them, I kept his memory. Lilykit resembled no one, but acted much like me, though perhaps a little less feisty. Blizzardkit and Heartkit became fast friends when Heartkit's eyes had opened and he could say a few words (his eyes were amber, so he was an exact copy of me except for his white chest, and his first word was 'love' because I told him that I loved him so much. Isn't that sweet?). Lilykit was adorable and loved her brother with all her might. Ripplekit was feisty and had an attitude, and would protect her siblings with tooth and claw if anything were to happen. I loved them all, including Blizzardkit, the white tom with red eyes who was so loving and playful towards everyone.

Then the new cat, Arrowhead, started visiting me in the nursery. When they could all talk and play very well, he would play games with them. They all loved him, and I found myself wondering if that was how Beatingheart would act if he was still... but I never let that thought finish itself. It was too painful.

I remember one day of playing particularly, where my kits were playing Clan. It was a day filled with fate, as you will discover later on, though you might not understand the velocity of their little game until you reach a later point in the story. Anyway. The game.

"Let's play Mountainclan," Blizzardkit announced, jumping up. My kits followed him, squeaking in excitement.

"May we?" Heartkit asked me sweetly.

"Run along, darlings," I purred to them. "Don't bother the senior warriors _too_ much!" But they were already out of the nursery. I followed them in hopes of sunbathing on the rock just outside the nursery, and watched their game.

"How do we play Mountainclan?" Ripplekit wondered.

"Well, see, we're Mountainclan, and we pick roles in the clan to act out. _I'm_ the leader, cause I'm the oldest. So you have to call me Blizzardstar now." Ripplekit giggled.

"Okay, well, _I'm _the deputy. My name will be... umm...."

"I think Ripplewave or Rippleheart would be good names," Heartkit offered, and she nodded decidedly.

"Okay. I'll be Rippleheart, then." Heartkit grinned.

"All right. I want to bee..."

"I think you should be Heartblaze," Lilykit spoke up. "A warrior of Mountainclan." Heartkit nodded in agreement.

"So I'll be Lily...pool. Lilypool, medicine cat of Mountainclan." These words shocked me. Did this mean that Lilykit wanted to be a medicine cat? What if her dreams got crushed, like mine? There were already two medicine cats, and I didn't think that was about to change anytime soon...

The other kits seemed perfectly at ease with her decision.

"Awesome! So, now we're Mountainclan!" Blizzardkit said happily, looking around.

"So, Blizzardstar, what do we _do_ in Mountainclan?" Ripplekit squeaked interestedly. The white tom looked carefully around camp, thinking, then spotted Arrowhead.

"Mountain Lion!" he cried, jumping on the grey-furred warrior, who reared back in surprise, then relaxed as he realized that it was just a kit game.

"Mountainclan, attack!" Blizzardkit screeched, batting at the 'Mountain Lion's' head. I purred in amusement as I watched them play. They were so carefree. Had I ever been like that?

Ripplekit and Heartkit ran at Arrowhead enthusiastically, batting his nose and clinging to his paws. His eyes widened in mock horror, and he flinched.

"Oh, no! Mountainclan has found me out! This might be the end..." Blizzardkit laughed triumphantly. Lilykit watched, eyes round, as she tore up a random leaf she had found on the ground. Ripplekit reached a dark grey paw up to cover his eyes, and Arrowhead closed them obligingly.

"I've blinded him!" she reported gleefully.

"Good job, Rippleheart. You're a good deputy," Blizzard'star' said, and Heartkit, desperate to be praised by his 'leader' as well, jumped on top of Arrowhead's back and batted at his ears. Arrowhead wailed.

"No, not the ears! They've discovered my weak point!"

"Nice work, Heartblaze," Blizzardkit meowed, and Heartkit grinned and continued his attack on Arrowhead's ears. Arrowhead toppled over on purpose, faking dead, and Blizzardkit clambered up to stand on top of him, caterwauling triumphantly. Ripplekit scrambled to join him, and Heartkit followed. Lilykit scurried up to them.

"You have killed the mountain lion, but now you need to be cured from your wounds!" she mewled, and Blizzardkit stumbled over to her.

"Ow! My leg! That mountain lion had sharp claws!" he held his uninjured leg out to Lilykit, and she examined it carefully, parting the fur here and there, and sprinkled a few dried leaves on it. I knew that they had no healing properties, but was impressed with her knowledge of how to check wounds. Had she been sneaking lessons with Gingerspice or something?

Blizzardkit immediately leaped up.

"Wow! That stuff really works! Where do you get it?"

"It's a medicine cat secret," she said mysteriously, and Heartkit ran over to her.

"Hey Lilypool, can you cure my wound?" he asked eagerly, and she repeated the same process with her brother. He thanked her and Ripplekit took his place, announcing that she had a wound on her head, shoulder, leg, and flank, and they all needed the special herb. Lily'pool' was only too happy to oblige and soon, all of my kits were 'cured'. Arrowhead began getting to his paws but Blizzardkit pushed him down again.

"You're supposed to be dead!" he complained. Arrowhead chuckled and let his tongue loll out a little, and I decided it was time to intervene.

"Now, kits, let Arrowhead up. He has to do warrior things, like patrols. It's time for you kits to come back to the nursery." They all groaned and trudged into the nursery while I padded up to Arrowhead.

"Sorry about them," I chuckled. He shook his head, dusting off his pelt.

"No, Shiningmoon, it's fine. I love kits, you know. Yours are so cute!" I purred.

"Thanks. They are, aren't they?" We continued discussing my kits and kits in general until Tawnydapple called him for a patrol, and he bounded off to meet Rushpaw and Silverrose at the entrance. I sighed and went back to my kits, who were playing a catching game with a ball of moss. As the moss went flying across the nursery to land on the other side and Heartkit chased it enthusiastically, I plucked it up with my teeth and he skidded to a halt, disappointed.

"Nap time," I said sternly, and Blizzardkit gave me a look.

"Not you, Blizzardkit. You can stay up, but the rest of you, no excuses." Lilykit rested her head on the moss and yawned, revealing tiny white teeth, without complaint. Ripplekit glared and sat down stubbornly, while Heartkit reluctantly curled up beside Lilykit.

"Ripplekit," I warned. She pouted, and I raised my eyebrows warningly at her. She sighed and rolled her eyes, flopping down on the moss angrily and closing those familiar golden eyes. Blizzardkit watched smugly, and I looked at him.

"Make sure they don't wake up and sneak off anywhere," I instructed him, and padded outside again.


	10. Motherhood

Just then, I noticed a commotion at the entrance. More new cats?

A very small tan kit padded into camp, trembling all over. Fogstar appraised him with grey eyes, then shrugged. I could see that they were talking, but couldn't quite catch the conversation until he raised his voice.

"You can stay... Kestrel. And from now on, you will be known as Kestrelkit." He nodded obediently and Fogstar looked around.

"The problem is, we only have one queen and she already has four kits..." he said thoughtfully. I automatically stepped forward.

"It's okay, Fogstar. I have room for more," I said. Five kits wasn't that many, right? Fogstar raised his eyebrow slightly, but made no comment, nodded, and went back to his den. Kestrelkit padded up to me.

"Hi, are you my new mommy?" he wanted to know. I nodded down at him.

"Yes, Kestrelkit. I suppose I am." He nodded, as if confirming something that he had only guessed at, and padded purposefully into the nursery. _What a strong-willed little thing,_ I thought to myself. He would be difficult to raise, but maybe Ripplekit will have met her match.

I heard Blizzardkit's startled mew, and padded into the den.

"Blizzardkit, this is Kestrelkit, your new brother. Kestrelkit, how old are you?" I asked the kit, turning to him.

"About four moons," he told me confidently. Blizzardkit's face fell; he was only three moons. He wouldn't be the oldest anymore. He instantly brightened up, though, and nudged Kestrelkit playfully.

"Hey, now I have someone other than my moon-old siblings!" He purred excitedly. Kestrelkit smiled enthusiastically.

"You like playing?" He clarified. Blizzardkit nodded. Just then, Heartkit opened his eyes.

"Hi," he murmured sleepily, then he scrambled to his paws when he saw Kestrelkit. "Who are you?" he stammered, sizing him up.

"I'm your new adopted brother," Kestrelkit announced to the little orange tom that looked so much like me but acted so much like his father. Heartkit's eyes widened, but then he shrugged and jumped on the sandy brown cat playfully, landing square on his shoulders and pushing him to the ground energetically.

"Whoa!" Kestrelkit laughed, batting at Heartkit playfully. "Aren't you enthusiastic!" Heartkit shoved his muzzle into the fur at Kestrelkit's neck.

"I win!" He exclaimed joyfully, and Kestrelkit widened his eyes.

"No fair!" Blizzardkit jumped in at this point.

"Rematch!" he shouted, and the three toms quickly began a vigorous play fight. I watched them for a while, then looked over at my other two kits. Ripplekit was sleeping soundly, but Lilykit was awake and was watching her brothers with a bright interest in her unique green eyes.

"Mommy, can I visit Gingerspice and Leafsong?" she asked me in her quiet, sweet voice. I hesitated. Should I let her carry on with this futile dream, or crush her hopes early? I decided on the first choice.

"Sure!" I said enthusiastically, trying to look supportive. She smiled broadly and scampered out of the den. I watched her leave with sad eyes, then turned to little Ripplekit, the exact copy of her father. Suddenly, I felt a tug in my heart. It grew and grew, urging me to run, and my paws twitched.

"Kits, Mommy's going out. Stay in the den," I said in a strained voice, then gave myself over to the pull. I was flying out of camp, through the forest, over hills and rocks, until I skidded to an automatic halt in the center of my clearing. The sunlight caught on the fish scale charm, and I felt a warmth over my heart as I cried, cried for Beatingheart. I drank from the glittering stream, thinking of fishing for him, and cried even more. I buried myself in the cool, springy grass, and placed my paw over the token of love Beatingheart had given me only weeks before his death. I finally slipped into sleep, haunted by dark dreams of Beatingheart disappearing in a flash of violent red light.

I opened my eyes hours later, feeling weary but better after crying my heart out over my true love. I raced back to my kits, but on the way heard a high-pitched cry. I instantly changed my course, veering around and racing towards the noise. It grew louder and louder until I stumbled upon a flaming red ginger she-kit, thin to the bone and covered in thin scratches. Her eyes were yellowish amber, and she was mewling in a pitiful voice.

"What is it with Leafclan and homeless kits?" I muttered to myself, scooping her up and dashing back to camp with her in my jaws. When I arrived, I called out for Fogstar.

"Fogstar, we have another abandoned kit!" I yowled, and he examined the little she-cat carefully, who had now fallen silent.

"You should not have taken her here, Shiningmoon," he said gravely. "If you took her in, you'd have six kits. That would be too much for you, I'm afraid." I shook my head angrily.

"What do you know about being a queen?" I hissed to the leader, then carried the kit back to my den, placing her among my other kits. Lilykit was back by then, eyes shining with delight from her trip to see the medicine cats. The toms were lying on their backs, panting from their play-fight, and Ripplekit had fallen back asleep. The new kit, whom I had decided to call Emberkit, stared around her with wide eyes, then stumbled over to Ripplekit and prodded her.

"Wake up," she said in a tiny voice, and Ripplekit's gold eyes flew open, her teeth bared in a snarl. She relaxed when she saw Emberkit, though.

"Hello, there," she sighed, glancing at me. "I suppose you're my new sister, right?" she rolled her eyes slightly. Emberkit nodded importantly.

"How old are you?" I asked her sweetly.

"O-one moon," she stuttered, looking me full in the eyes. She was so young! A little younger than Ripplekit, Heartkit, and Lilykit. They were all a little under two moons.

"Is it all right if we call you Emberkit?" I asked sweetly. She nodded shakily.

"Yeah. I was actually called Ember by M-mummy before she- she- she-" she stopped talking and tears welled up in her eyes, and I licked her on the top of her head.

"It's okay. I'll be your mummy now." Blizzardkit turned and whispered something to Kestrelkit, and they chuckled slightly. I shot a glare at them, and they trudged out of the nursery together. Heartkit padded over to Lilykit, nudging her with his eyes bright.

"Hey, Heartkit," Lilykit purred. "Want to hang out with us she-cats for a change?" He laughed.

"They're so much bigger than me; it gets annoying to lose every time just because of size." Ripplekit snorted, padding up to them.

"Size shouldn't be an issue," she said, flexing her claws. "It's just your age. And if those guys give you any trouble, you know who to turn to." Her eyes flashed and she hissed a little. Lilykit chuckled lightly.

"Ripplekit, you're just as old as Heartkit."

"But I'm a better fighter," she said stubbornly, and the three kits quickly began arguing over who was the better fighter. Emberkit watched them timidly for a while, then joined them and stated that she was better at fighting than all of them. This made them argue further, and I watched them with fond eyes.

"Mommy, mommy!" came a cry, and Blizzardkit and Kestrelkit came running into the nursery. "Rushpaw's gonna teach us how to hunt! Can we go?" Kestrelkit asked breathlessly, eyes wide and hopeful. I sighed, smiling.

"Sure. Run along, and _don't _bother any of the warriors!" Blizzardkit grinned and the pair ran outside again. Emberkit glanced at me once, then scurried after them. Soon I was left with only my own kits, related to me by blood.

"Mommy?" Lilykit asked shyly.

"Yes, Lilykit?" I asked, settling into my nest with a sigh tiredly.

"Who... who is our daddy?" Heartkit and Ripplekit nodded, settling in the moss beside their sister. I drew a breath in sharply. I had expected this, but I hadn't planned what to say when the time came.

"Your father was a great cat," I began. I noticed Heartkit pick up on the word 'was'.

"What happened to him?" he piped up curiously.

"His name was Beatingheart," I sighed, lost in memories. "He looked a lot like you, Ripplekit. He was funny and strong and nice and gentle. Perfect in every way. But one day..." I proceeded to tell them the whole story of how I met Beatingheart, not emitting anything. They asked a few questions, and then begged for another story, a true one. I told them the tale of me and Gingerspice as kits, and our battle to become the medicine cat apprentice.

"So you don't like being a queen?" Ripplekit questioned. I sighed, drawing them closer to me with my tail.

"I love being a queen," I said truthfully. "That time is gone now, and I have accepted what I am. Gingerspice is a great medicine cat, and I love kits. Besides, I never would have fallen in love with your father if I was a medicine cat..." I trailed off, and suddenly a shape appeared next to me. It was a dark grey cat with gold eyes, and he was looking at me fondly.

"Beatingheart!" I gasped. My kits stared up at their father with wide eyes, reclining against my side.


	11. Chaos Ensues

"I came to see my kits," he purred, and sniffed each of them carefully. I noticed that he didn't have stars in his pelt, and wondered if Darkclan cats didn't have stars in their pelts. After all, he said that was where he would go when he died, right?" He was insubstantial, and his paws passed through mine as he stepped over me to lick Heartkit on the head fondly.

"Hello, little Heartkit. I am your namesake, did you know? Ripplekit stared at him openly, shocked that a cat could look so much like her. She had thought that her gold eyes were unique. Lilykit had her eyes narrowed slightly, and she nudged her father slightly.

"Hi," she said in a small voice. He smiled down at her.

"Lilykit! How nice to see you again."

"Again?"

"I saw you the day you were born. I came down to help your mother." I smiled fondly up at him. Without him there, I might not have made it. I was forever grateful. Lilykit had something in her eyes, something not normal. She looked awed and loving, because he was her father, but there was something else... I couldn't place it. She didn't seem to be able to place it, either, because she said nothing out of the ordinary. Ripplekit quickly fell in love with her father, loving his sense of humor and superior fighting tips.

At the end of the day, he raised his head to the sky and his eyes drained of the joy they had from seeing his family.

"It is time for me to return home now," he said gently, and dissolved into thin air, leaving nothing behind but silence.

After a long period of time, Heartkit spoke up.

"I like our daddy," he said thoughtfully. "He's really nice. Was he a Starclan spirit, mommy?" I shook my head slowly.

"No... not really. He his something even more special. He is a Darkclan cat. It is a clan within Starclan, an elite circle, which he is in." They all nodded, seeming to understand right away, and my other three kits came bounding into the den.

"When we were done, we got to play with Arrowhead!" Blizzardkit said excitedly, tail twitching.

"I hope you didn't bother him," I said lightly, knowing he wouldn't mind at all if he was bothered by my kits. Arrowhead was like an uncle to them. A perfect, playful uncle. Kestrelkit and Emberkit exchanged glances, chuckling a little. Blizzardkit shot them a glance.

"Shhh," he said. "No, we didn't bother him." I chuckled.

"I can see that. Well, it's time for your bedtimes, anyway. All of you." I drew them close to my belly, and they drifted to sleep one by one. Lilykit was the last one to close her eyes, and she gave me a curious stare before drifting into sleep. I followed soon after, and my dreams were all peaceful and happy that night.

A lot of time passed after that, filled with peace and love. Having six kits was a strain, but as only four still needed milk and three of those four were just transitioning to fresh-kill, I was doing all right. Gingerspice told me personally that she was impressed with me for raising all six. I saw Fogstar casting concerned glances at me throughout the moons.

Eventually there came a time when Emberkit was about three moons old. None of my kits nursed anymore, so things were pretty easygoing for me. She looked me square in the eye one day, and told me.

"Shiningmoon, my time with Leafclan is done. I thank you for wall you have given me- I could not have made it without you- but it is time for me to go back home. Farewell." Before I could ask what she meant or protest that she was too young, she had run out of camp, bright ginger tail streaming out behind her. I watched her leave sadly, and the rest of my kits slowly congregated around me.

"I'm going to miss her," Lilykit said softly, and everyone else nodded.

Emberkit's departure was a little sad for me, but not a heartbreak. I had a feeling that she would make it okay back to her 'home', and that I had done my part in her life. I was content. Until one very fateful day. A day that turned my whole world upside down, shaking my beliefs and convictions to their roots.

It began as a normal day. I was stretched out on the ground, basking in the sun while my kits tumbled and played around me.

All of a sudden, chaos ensued, for lack of a better phrase. In a flash of green light, the center of the camp was suddenly occupied by a glowing green tiger with pulsing red eyes, radiating evil. I screamed in shock, wincing back, and she let out a peal of malicious laughter. She did not stop laughing, and suddenly something else caught all of our attentions. A loud roar sounded from the entrance to camp, and a large bear came crashing through the trees, teeth bared in a snarl.

"Get everyone but the warriors into the trees!" Fogstar shouted, and I quickly picked up Blizzardkit and Kestrelkit, scampering up the nearest tree and placing them in a branch. I rushed down the tree again, panting, and dodged a blow from the bear. The green tiger in camp was still there, laughing her head off.

And then it happened.

I saw him.

Beatingheart was strolling into camp, perfectly at ease, a pleased smile on his face.

"Ah, it's good too be back," he chuckled, looking around, not looking surprised at all to see the green tiger or the large bear. I ran up to him, eyes wide.

"Beatingheart!" I cried, pressing my muzzle into his fur, forgetting about everything else. He was alive and well, and I didn't even care how. He was there. That was all that mattered. But then he did something strange. He shoved me off of him, and glared at me in faint amusement.

"Shiningmoon! Watch out!" came a yell as the bear's paw made contact with the side of my face. I was flung to the ground, deep scratches in my cheek. I got to my paws, shaking all over, and looked to my mate for comfort as Faintbracken viciously drove the bear away from me. But Beatingheart was still watching me, slightly amused and almost... happy. Happy, that I had been hurt? Something wasn't right here.

"Hello, there, Shiningmoon," he hissed in a voice that didn't sound like any he'd ever used before. "Thanks so much for spreading on the Darkclan bloodline." He dodged around me, grabbed Lilykit, Heartkit, and Ripplekit, and gave me one last glare. "By the way, you can call me by my real name now," He sneered. "It's Deadheart. Fitting, yes?" He disappeared in a flash of dark light, and I noticed a gleam of red in his eyes as he left. The green tiger disappeared alongside him, still cackling madly.

The warriors had driven the bear out of camp, and blood was oozing down my face. I didn't feel it. I didn't feel much of anything. In fact, all I could feel was shock. Beatingheart... was... lying all that time? He was... evil? He didn't love me? My kits were gone... all gone... forever... everything... lost...

I noticed at some point in time that Kestrelkit and Blizzardkit were beside me, along with other cats. I heard voices, but didn't know what they were saying. I didn't care. I was on the ground, my face pressed into the dirt, and my mind filled with hurt and betrayal. Everything was gone. Everything.

"Shiningmoon? Please wake up. We need you," came Silverrose's urgent voice. I ignored her. What was the point in life again? I couldn't remember. Shrugging mentally, I slowly got to my paws and placed a claw against my throat, keeping my eyes squeezed shut. There was nothing for me in life anymore, nothing. Then a new thought dawned on me. Wasn't Beati- Deadheart in Darkclan? Couldn't they get to Starclan? I could never escape, not even by killing myself. There was no escape. No escape.

"Shiningmoon, no!" came Gingerspice's forceful voice, and I felt her paw pushing mine away from my throat. I let her remove it, knowing now that death would not help me. I simply sat there, my eyes blank as I opened them, seeing nothing. My throat was dry and so were my eyes, amazingly enough. I couldn't cry. I couldn't do anything. I... was... lost...

"Listen, Shiningmoon. It was a shock for all of us, discovering that he was a traitor. But you have to be strong for your clan. For Blizzardkit and Kestrelkit!" I shook my head slowly, still not seeing anything, and then let the pull that was attacking my heart overwhelm me, carrying me to my clearing. My paws skimmed over the ground as I tried to leave it all behind, leave everything behind.

I plunged my whole face into the stream, letting it wash away all my thoughts, and then sat in the middle of the clearing, head bowed.


	12. Help Comes

As I sat, I noticed something glinting in my peripheral vision. I looked down and noticed that the sun was glinting off the fish scale charm given to me by Bea- Deadheart. In a sudden bout of fury, I ripped the necklace off my neck with brute force, bringing my claws down on the hard grass cord. It snapped, falling to the ground, and I felt a throbbing pain in my neck from where it had cut it. I sank my claws into the earth, creating a hole and flinging the charm inside it, then burying it again, all in record time with anger searing through my veins.

I glared at the freshly turned earth for a long while, then closed my eyes, and my anger evaporated, replaced again with deep, deep sadness. My new neck wound was dripping blood onto my paws and I felt the whole right side of my face caked with it from the wounds the bear had given me, but I didn't care.

The next thing I knew, I was blinking open my eyes and a silver face was swimming in front of me. I started to get up, wondering what Silverrose wanted, and then it all came crashing down on me again. With a groan, I sunk back to the earth, closing my eyes and replaying the horrible memory in my head.

"Shiningmoon, the whole camp is worried. It took me ages to find you here; I was afraid you'd run off... to become like a loner or something." She shook her head. "I'm glad you stayed. I can see why you'd need some time alone..." I closed my mind while she talked away, giving myself over to the pain and misery, until I realized that she had stopped talking.

"Did you hear me?" she asked in a concerned voice. "You need to get back to camp. Blizzardkit and Kestrelkit need you, and those wounds look bad... Gingerspice should look at them." I heard a faint catch in her voice, and remembered how we had both wanted to be a medicine cat apprentice. That dream seemed so futile, so kitlike, and I couldn't believe that it had actually been the cause of one of my heartbreaks. For my heart was indeed broken again, worse than ever before. Because on top of Be- _Dead_heart's horrible betrayal, my three beloved kits were stolen, taken hostage by their own father to Darkclan, which I had only just discovered was evil.

"Shiningmoon!" Silverrose said, bringing me back to the present abruptly. I stared at her absently, then got up and padded mechanically in the direction of camp, feeling and seeing nothing.

When we arrived back in camp, Blizzardkit and Kestrelkit were waiting for me, eyes wide and filled with fear. I felt a faint urge to comfort them, buried by my sorrow and anger.

"Mom!" Blizzardkit gasped, racing up to me. I stared down at him, then licked the top of his head.

"Oh, Blizzardkit," I choked, the tears finally flowing. Kestrelkit followed his foster brother, and I covered both of them with licks, tears pouring down my face.

In the middle of our sentimental reunion, a noise was heard from the camp entrance.

I whipped around, teeth bared and eyes wild with flame. I was ready to claw sense into Deadheart's head, to let him know who he had been messing with and make him pay. But it was not a grey tom that padded into our camp. It was a small, black she-cat with leaf-green eyes. Hawkflight.

"It seems that I was right," she mused, padding in circles around me. "Deadheart has successfully ruined another cat. I warned you, did I not?" I stared up at her through watery eyes.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, my voice filled with pain. Her face softened. I realized that this cat had been the good guy all along, trying to help us. Midnightclan was good, after all. I had just been too stupid to realize it.

"I am, too. It seems that I should explain Darkclan further to you, as it seems highly unlikely that Deadheart will do it for me." She rolled her eyes. "Anyway. Darkclan is an incredibly evil clan filled with cats that are somewhere between alive and dead, and not part of Starclan at all. They all have black hearts and rarely show mercy. Something is done to them to make them this way, but that is their secret. Of course, some cats come to them of their own free will, as evil as they are. Darkstar is the vile and cruel leader of this clan, and also the founder. She normally takes the shape of a tiger with red eyes." I gulped. Darkstar had been in our clan? Was that the cat that Deadheart truly loved? I felt a searing pain in my chest.

"She and Deadheart are mates, as you have probably realized." She chuckled a little, but cast a sympathetic glance at me. "Darkstar has a long and complicated past, which I can't recount perfectly so I won't. Darkclan came to Midnightclan and we had a great war, which is a great tale if you ever have a day to listen to it, and this war resulted in the near ending of our clan." Her voice grew hushed and sad. "Only a few Midnightclan cats were left, I among them. I was a medicine cat apprentice, Hawkpaw. Of course, I still am, but I have my full name now, Hawkflight." She smiled ruefully. "Deadheart still takes to calling me by my old name, though," she muttered, explaining the bitterness. "Anyway. So Midnightclan was in ruins. Aaannnyway, we took as much of Darkclan with us as we could. So Darkclan was as devastated as we were." She grinned in satisfaction.

"There were only a few members left. Darkstar, Deadheart, Winterfrost, and Oakstar. I think that's still all of their members, but if they've captured your kits, there are sure to be more soon." My eyes widened and I shuddered convulsively.

"No!" I cried. "I won't let them!" Hawkflight eyed me.

"I could help you get them back, you know," she said thoughtfully.

"Please?" I said desperately, willing to do anything she asked to get all three of my kits back safely.

"You did completely ignore my offer for help and drove us out," she pointed out. "Twice." She glared around at the gathered Leafclan cats, who winced, some in genuine apology and some just in response to her glare. I sighed, eyes frantic at this point.

"I'm sorry, okay! We're all sorry!" I shot my clanmates a quick glare, forcing them to agree. They all nodded quickly. "Beati- I mean, Deadheart was just good at his job, okay? Give me a break. I'm a fool. Yeah. But I still want my kits back." She smiled slightly, examining her claws for a long while.

"Okay," she said slowly after a time. "I guess I'll help you."


	13. Lilykit's Tale

_Lilykit_

I trembled, hunched against Ripplekit. She was my shield, my guardian. Heartkit was watching us concernedly, and he was shuddering as well. Ripplekit had a blazing look in her dimly glowing golden eyes, the same color as our father's. I shuddered at the thought of him. I _knew _there was something off about him. I could sense it, couldn't I? But I had said nothing. And now... he had broken my mother's heart again.

The cave we were in was dark and gloomy, each murmur echoing throughout the pitch black tunnels behind us that led into undiscovered lands. I closed my eyes, remembering being brought in the night before...

_In a flash of light, I was in the middle of a dark forest, trees swaying in a nonexistent breeze. There were no stars. My father dropped us on the ground, eying us with disgust. I whimpered, and Ripplekit looked blank with shock beside me. He padded towards a tiger, her red eyes glinting._

"_My children," He told her, bowing out of our way mockingly. Ripplekit boldly stepped forward, and Heartkit followed, resolve in his amber eyes. I took a hesitant step after them, and my father spoke up._

"_May I do the honors, Darkstar?" he asked his leader, bowing his head respectfully and shooting a disgusted glare at us. I shuddered. Ripplekit and Heartkit both returned his glare forcefully._

"_Sure, _Beatingheart,_" she said, gesturing towards a cave that was filled with darkness. There appeared t be no barrier to keep us in the cave, and I wondered if we would have a constant guard. _

"_I was merely referring to the state of my heart," he said calmly before picking up up by our scruffs one by one and tossing us into the cave. I winced in pain, and a white, leering tom padded into view._

"_Enjoy your stay, furballs," he whispered, stalking away. No guard came to stand by our door. Ripplekit was shaking a little, but her eyes were hard._

"_Do they think they can keep us in here?" She scorned, glaring outside the cave._

"_Ripplekit, I think they are more powerful than they let on," Heartkit warned slightly._

"_Ahh, the orange kit is wise!" The white cat purred, laughing. Heartkit glared at them._

"_I can break out of here. Right now. You don't have a door, you know." Before I could stop him, he was marching up to the end of the cave, into the open camp. But he didn't quite make it that far. When he reached the precise location where the cave ended, he was flung back among us with a cry of pain, shaking all over._

"_It shocked me," he whispered. I ran over to him, eyes wild._

"_Heartkit! Are you okay?" I cried in a panicked tone. I loved my brother more than anything and as shocked to see him hurt. He was always the strong one, the wise one..._

"_No, I just have to... recover..." he huffed, getting to his paws with effort. I supported him with my side, worried. Ripplekit watched frantically, worried for her brother as well._

"_Winterfrost! Done bothering the prisoners over there?" came the voice of my father, and the white cat, Winterfrost, bounded away. We were alone._

I sighed, coming back to the present, and looked over at my siblings. Ripplekit's eyes were wide, and I turned quickly to see what she was staring at. Winterfrost was standing at the entrance to the prisoner cave, leering nastily at them.

"What do you want?" snapped Heartkit, glaring. Winterfrost chuckled.

"Just came to check up on you useless lumps," he said boredly. Ripplekit seemed to take extreme offense to that and ran up to him, forgetting the barrier. He flashed a snow-white paw right through the invisible wall, claws unsheathed, and, quick as lightning, scored them down my sister's face. She fell to the ground with a cry, and I dashed up to her.

"Ripplekit!" I screamed, picking her up with extreme difficulty and moving her farther back in the cave.

"You shouldn't have done that. You will pay," Heartkit was warning Winterfrost.

"Ohhh, threats from a kit!" came the taunting response. I tuned out their bickering and focused on finding cobwebs. I was worried that my sister would lose too much blood. She had always been the one looking after me, but now I had to be the one to look after her.

Luckily, the old cave had plenty of cobwebs, and I had stopped Ripplekit's bleeding in no time. Unfortunately, there were no herbs and I knew that the Darkclan cats would not give me any. So I simply prayed that her wound would not get infected.

"L-Lilykit?" she muttered, craning her neck to look at me. I nodded, my face tight with worry. She looked around blearily, then her eyes focused on Winterfrost.

"Let me get at him," she growled, scrambling to her paws. I squeaked, eyes wide in alarm.

"No! Sissy, don't! That's what they _want!_ It's- It's _fun_ for them, watching us in pain." I flinched. "Please, please don't give him that pleasure again." She glowered at me for a while, then shrugged and sat down again, wincing slightly. Her ear was nicked at the top; it would be for the rest of her life. That cut continued all the way down to her chin, and two shallow cuts lay on either side. These would heal with time, and only the larger cut would leave a scar.

Winterfrost chuckled slightly, then padded a few strides way from the cave and vanished. Heartkit came meandering over to us, eyes wide with alarm.

"Are you okay?" He asked Ripplekit in a hushed voice, licking her cheek with his tiny tongue. She nodded, trying to be strong as usual. I padded up to my brother, pressing against him.

"I'm scared," I whispered to him. "What will they do to us? Heartkit, I don't want to die!" I pressed my face into his comforting orange fur, and Ripplekit came over, licking me rhythmically.

"We'll protect you, Lilykit." Heartkit nodded softly, resting his tail on my shoulder. And so we fell asleep, tangled together in a mass of fur, protecting one another.

The next morning, it was hard to wake up. There was no sun here, no morning. It was perpetual night with no moon, no stars. Just dark. When we _did_ wake up, we all huddled in the back of the cave together. I was starving. I kept hearing Heartkit's belly rumble, and cast sympathetic glances at him. Ripplekit's jaw was tight; I could tell she was in pain from bother wound and hunger. But other than that, she showed no sign of it and seemed to be set on guarding us the whole time we were there. I longed for my mother. The warmth of her tabby fur against mine, the love in her amber eyes. I wanted to see Blizzardkit and Kestrelkit playing with Arrowhead. I wanted to see Tawnydapple assigning patrols, and Gingerspice and Leafsong sorting herbs.

But I could see none of that. And I doubted that I would ever see any of it again. A hollow feeling spread throughout me that day as I realized this, and I pressed miserably against Ripplekit, feeling guilty about always wanting comfort and not giving _her_ any. She didn't seem to be bothered, though, and whispered words of comfort to me every time I trembled, like she was my mother. Heartkit stood with us, and we had our tails intertwined the whole time. Something to hold on to. My brother.

After what seemed like ages, Darkclan cats began popping back into the camp from the various places they had been, probably tormenting other cats. I shuddered.

Winterfrost cast an amused glance at us in our cave, then settled down in some sort of nest on the other side of camp. My heart jolted painfully as my own father appeared, not even giving us a second glance as he padded purposefully to a broader and more centered den than Winterfrost's. I watched him fall asleep, sadness heavy in me.

"I thought he was so great," Heartkit murmured after a time. We didn't have to ask to know who he meant.

"Me, too," Ripplekit whispered, her voice hard with betrayal. I said nothing. He had seemed nice to me. A pleasant cat to be around. But something under the Beatingheart facade had sparked my attention. Something... dark. I had known that I was probably wrong, that it was nothing. But what had happened only weeks later? I sighed, shaking my head slightly.

"I can't believe this. That we're stuck here when only a week ago we were playing with Blizzardkit and Kestrelkit!" Ripplekit muttered after a while. I nodded sullenly.

"Do you think Mom will rescue us?" Heartkit asked in a small voice. Ripplekit shrugged.

"I bet she'll try. We have to believe that she's trying to save us. But if she doesn't make it... we should have some sort of plan, don't you think?" I looked dubiously up at her.

"What could we do against the whole of Darkclan?" I asked, my voice full of hopelessness.

"I don't know. But we have to think of something if we want to ever see the daylight again." Heartkit nodded determinedly, and I sighed. They could be brave if they liked, but what good would it do, in the end? We were stuck here, and always would be. Until Darkclan carried out whatever they had in store for us. I shuddered, and Ripplekit nuzzled me comfortingly.

The next two days passed by in much the same fashion. We were all starving by then, and I could clearly see each bone of both Ripplekit's and Heartkit's ribs. My mouth was parched with thirst, and my leg had a small cut on it from when one of the Darkclan cats had come into the cave for the pleasure of hearing us scream... I shuddered at the memory. Ripplekit had a new cut across her flank, and Heartkit had a small one on his back.

At the end of the... day, I assumed, Deadheart and Winterfrost came padding up to our cave, grinning slightly.

"What do you want?" demanded Heartkit, ears flat against his head as he took a warning step towards his father and his companion. Deadheart chuckled a little.

"My son is brave, no?" he asked Winterfrost. The white warrior only laughed.

"He'll do." Do for what? A thrill of terror coursed through me, and I whimpered slightly.

"That scrawny one over there is completely useless, though. We can just get rid of her." Winterfrost took a step towards me, a greedy look in his eyes. I took a step back, colliding with the rock wall. Ripplekit snarled.

"Winterfrost! We have to take care of Heartkit first!" Deadheart snapped sharply. Winterfrost sighed, turning back to my brother. I was too petrified with fear to try to turn their attention away from him.

"Take care of him?" Ripplekit growled. I could hear fear under the tough tone she had as she spoke, but it was well hidden.

"Yeah... it's about time we did something with you worthless runts," Deadheart grunted, smiling. _How could this cat be our father?_

Heartkit shook his head fast, eyes wide. "Y-you can't," he said, backing up a little.

"Why should we listen to a puny scrap like you?" Winterfrost snorted. "It is time. This is your destiny, little furball. There's no avoiding it." _His destiny, to be killed by Darkclan cats? _Somehow I didn't think these cats were telling the truth. Ripplekit snarled loudly, taking two wide paced forwards.

"Take me instead!" she demanded, planting herself between the Darkclan cats and her brother. Heartkit's eyes widened.

"No, Ripplekit! Don't! I'll go. Take me. Never her!" Ripplekit glared, unmoving. Deadheart cackled.

"Well, there seems to be an obvious solution to this," he said, scanning the two if them. I was forgotten against the wall. "We'll take you both, then. You should both do well. We'll do it at dawn, agreed?" He turned sharply to Winterfrost, eyes narrowing as if daring him to disagree. The white tom dipped his head, but his eyes glittered with malice as he glared at my siblings. I shuddered.

The two Darkclan cats left the cave, and I hurried over to Ripplekit and Heartkit.

"Y-you-" I began, but couldn't get the rest out. I just sobbed into their pelts, hugging them close to me.

"Shh, Lilykit. W-we'll find a way to escape," Ripplekit said, trying to comfort _me!_ I shook my head.

"No, Ripplekit. Stop. Don't try worrying about me. You guys-" I cast an anguished look at my brother, then my sister. "-are the ones that should be comforted. I-I'm sorry I didn't do anything. I should have-"

"No one blames you, Lilykit," Heartkit said softly, cutting me off. He swallowed sharply.

"I don't want to lose you! Either of you!" I wailed. Heartkit sighed.

"Me, neither. I don't either, Lilykit..."

We spent the night in despair, none of us sleeping, wanting to spend as much time as we could together before _it_ happened.

My eyelids, heavy with weariness, drooped as I stared at the entrance to the cave. Just as I was about to finally succumb to sleep, there was movement on the far side of camp. My eyes were suddenly wide with terror, and I pressed myself to my siblings, wishing I could protect them from their fate.

"No matter what happens, I love both of you," I whispered fervently. Ripplekit didn't seem to be able to speak, and Heartkit cast a half fond, half panicked look in my direction. The shape of my father became more defined as he padded over to us, and I shuddered violently. Ripplekit's mouth was open in horror, but her eyes were sharp with defiance at the same time. Heartkit looked afraid, brave, and sad simultaneously. I felt only fear. Lilykit, the coward. And I wasn't even the one doomed to die this very day.

"Ready, Heartkit?" Deadheart spat at my brother, and I hissed involuntarily. Deadheart didn't even spare me a glance.

"What about me? Can't you take me instead?" Ripplekit called, glaring. "You can't have Heartkit! Please, take me instead... please." Deadheart chuckled.

"I think you'll find that we can have him. And didn't we already agree on this? Both of you shall be taken today. Heartkit first. Get up!" He snapped at the young orange tom sharply, lashing at him with sharp claws. Heartkit flinched, jolting to his paws, and stared apprehensively at the entrance to the cave.

"The barrier won't work, idiot," Deadheart said impatiently, shoving him through it. Heartkit landed in a heap in the center of camp, and a little wail escaped from me.

"You scraps can come and watch this," he said, amusement in his tone as he picked up Ripplekit and I and threw us on the far side of camp.

Deadheart padded over to a tree and snapped off a branch, examining it closely before nodding in approval. It was the darkest wood I had ever seen, and the leaves of the tree looked like oak leaves. _Dark oak_, I mentally called it. I wondered what he wanted with a tree branch. I heard a strange rushing noise followed by a loud rustle from behind me, and whipped around, to see only ominous trees. What was out there? I shivered, snapping my gaze back to my brother. He was on his paws now, chin up, determined to put up a brave fight. A quieter rustle sounded from behind me, but I resisted the urge to look again. I waned to see as much as I could of my brother's live, healthy face before Deadheart did whatever he was going to do.

"If you hold still this might not hurt _quite _so much," my father said, eying Heartkit speculatively. Then, in a flash of movement, it happened. He shoved the branch of dark oak straight into my brother's heart. My wordless shriek was drowned out by another, louder one, and a large orange shape flew out of the trees from behind me. _Was it Heartkit's spirit?_ I looked closer, and my heart leaped despite my sadness. Shiningmoon! My mother's lips were drawn back in a snarl, and her muddy amber eyes were sharp with hatred. She gripped the stick with her teeth and tugged on it. Deadheart made a move to stop her, but was attacked by a lithe, black cat with angry green eyes.

"Well, if it isn't little Hawkpaw," he spat in amusement, circling her.

"Hawk_flight_, furball. Been torturing kits these days? You're not up to he standards you used to be, Deadheart. Or should I say, _Beating_heart?" Deadheart snarled and the cats began fighting. It was the most vicious fight I had ever seen.

Meanwhile, Shiningmoon had tossed the dark oak stick away and was bending over Heartkit, crying. My brother's face was screwed up in pain, but he wasn't dead yet. There was a strange, trembling darkness in his eyes that I didn't like one bit, and wondered if the dark oak had really been meant to kill him after all, or if it was to do something vile to him that I didn't want to know... I rushed over to help her, and was joined by Ripplekit, who had a look of complete confusion on her face.

"Heartkit! My baby! No, please! I can't lose you!" Shiningmoon was sobbing. Heartkit's breathing was shallow, and his eyes had a strange, red glint in them. I felt a strange fear course through me. Suddenly, Darkstar was there. With a shriek, she leaped on Shiningmoon, knocking Heartkit out of her paws. Shiningmoon fought back valiantly, but it was clear that we had to leave. Fast.

Ripplekit grabbed her brother's scruff and hauled him to the sidelines. Hawkflight was running towards us, bleeding heavily from a wound on her flank.

"We have to get you back!" she yowled. I wondered who she was. Then a dim memory sparked in my head, and I remembered my mother telling us stories of her past. This cat had been in it, but as a bad character. I'd have to hear more from Shiningmoon later. With a sudden burst of relief, I realized that there _was _going to be a later. But would Heartkit be part of it?

Shiningmoon was struggling over to us, Darkstar and Deadheart hot on her heels.

"Your souls will be joined forever!" Darkstar snarled, glaring directly at Ripplekit, Heartkit, and I. I flinched as I felt something detach from my mind, and wondered what had just happened. Before I could think any more about it, Shiningmoon grabbed Heartkit, and Hawkflight grabbed Ripplekit and I. In a flash, I was whirling through time and space, head reeling, and fell to the familiar ground of the Leafclan camp with a small pop.

I lay there for a moment, stunned by everything that had happened.

"Heartkit! Lilykit! Ripplekit! You're back!" came the familiar cry of Blizzardkit. Kestrelkit's voice joined in, and I slowly pushed myself to my paws. Shiningmoon and Hawkflight were talking in low voices, and Ripplekit was staring at Heartkit, eyes blank with shock.

"Yes," I said, my voice hollow. And then everything went black.


	14. Souls and Tree climbing

_Shiningmoon_

"What happened to him?" I asked Hawkflight, my newly formed friend, in a hushed voice.

"I think he got partly changed into a Darkclan cat." I shuddered, closing my eyes briefly. Heartkit was a part Darkclan cat now? The poor, innocent thing... "The dark oak does it to cats. I've seen it happen before." Her eyes grew dark and she seemed to remember something.

"Will he... be the same?" I asked tentatively.

"Somewhat," she said in a guarded tone. "Most of the time, I think. But at certain times... when certain things are triggered... he will snap, and submit to his Darkclan side." I bowed my head. I was a failure as a mother. Heartkit rolled over and muttered something in his sleep, and my attention immediately snapped back to him. He was so small, so vulnerable... and I had done such a poor job of protecting him. His two sisters were sleeping beside him in their nests in the medicine cat den, poultices and cobwebs on their wounds and the scent of thyme lingering on their fur. _Thyme for calming,_ I recited mentally, then flinched as the shadow of my first heartbreak pierced me.

"M-mom?" came a sleepy mew. Ripplekit was sitting up, the right side of her face covered in a thick poultice. "What happened?" This was the first time she had woken up since she had collapsed into slumber beside Lilykit.

"Hawkflight came, and agreed to help rescue you," I explained gently, sitting beside her. "We came to Darkclan... she knew how to transport there. It took a while, but I got the hang of it. When I had, we came... and waited until they had taken you out. Unfortunately, we came too late... Heartkit is now half Darkclan." Ripplekit's eyes widened slightly and she glanced quickly over at her brother.

"H-Heartkit? Is like _Deadheart_ now?" I shook my head fiercely, wincing at the mention of my old mate.

"No. Hawkflight says that he'll be close to normal now. Unless something triggers his dark side..." I swallowed. Ripplekit nodded thoughtfully, then another thought seemed to dawn on her.

"Just before we left... Darkstar said something. She _did_ something, more like." I wondered what she was talking about. "She said something like, 'your souls will be joined forever.' And then I felt something... odd. Like a piece of me went away forever..." she shuddered slightly, remembering the feeling. My eyes were wide with shock.

"So... you mean to say that Darkstar... joined your soul with Heartkit's and Lilykit's?" She nodded slowly.

"I _think_ that's what it was. So I'm kind of... linked to them now. I can see stuff... feel stuff that isn't coming from me. Not very much, but there's something there. Why do you suppose she did that to us?" Ripplekit wondered. I paused, thinking.

"I believe she wanted you and Lilykit to have a piece of Heartkit's darkness in you forever, so she has a small amount of control over all three of you," came a clear voice from the entrance of the den. Gingerspice had come in, and was now padding over to us, eyes thoughtful. I nodded in agreement. Ripplekit's eyes had widened, and her jaw was hanging open.

"So... _I'll..._ have Darkclan in me... too?" she gasped, horror kindling in her golden eyes. Gingerspice shook her head firmly.

"I think you can drive it out if you choose to do so. It will be hard, but if your heart is truly good, you can vanquish the darkness in your soul..." I stared at Gingerspice, shocked at how wise she had grown to be. This was not the same cat who I had learned to tree-jump with as a kit. She was a wise, powerful medicine cat now." I closed my eyes briefly, then opened them again. Ripplekit's eyes had closed, and she was drifting off to sleep once more. I licked her on top of her head tenderly. They were only kits. Why did so much have to happen to them when they were only kits?

Gingerspice placed her tail gently on my shoulder.

"Don't worry, Shiningmoon. They can pull through this. And so can you. So _will_ you." Her gaze was hard and determined, and I nodded.

"I will. For my clan, and for my family. I have to make up for my foolish mistake that has brought this clan to such dark times..." Gingerspice smiled sympathetically, and then left me alone to my worries and my sleeping kits.

Hawkflight padded up to me from behind and rested her tail on my shoulder briefly.

"It is time for me to return to Midnightclan," she told me, "but you have not seen the last of me." she smiled, then padded out of the medicine cats' den and out of camp. I watched her go, sighing. Clan life would never be the same now, would it? I knew the answer intantly. No. It wouldn't.

A few weeks later, my kits were fine again. However, Heartkit never seemed to be the same. Sometimes, when play-fighting, his eyes would turn slightly red, and he would become more ferocious than normal. But he was still the sweet cat I loved as a son. That hadn't changed, thankfully. Bizzardkit was big now, and Kestrelkit was an apprentice by the name of Kestrelpaw. He seemed very proud of his new title, but still played with Heartkit, Lilykit, Ripplekit, and Blizzardkit.

Lilykit seemed more timid than she ever had been before, and relied on Ripplekit a lot. Ripplekit took up the job heartily and protected Lilykit at all costs from every suspicious snapping branch. Blizzardkit constantly tried cheering them up, playing as much as possible, and Ripplekit tried to help but could be seen occasionally sitting in a corner of the nursery alone, stare blank. The Darkclan imprisonment had been bad for them, especially at such a young age. Why had I been so stupid?

Lilykit and Heartkit were as close as any two siblings could possibly be. They were always talking quietly together and playing games. I was glad about that, at least.

One day, I remember, I looked up from the mouse I was eating to see Blizzardkit and Ripplekit climbing a tree together, while Lilykit and Heartkit watched doubtfully. They seemed to be doing fine, but I watched them carefully all the same.

"I'm gonna get to the top branch!" Blizzardkit yelled excitedly, propelling himself up the trunk of the tree. Ripplekit growled and followed, stumbling slightly. My breath caught, but she regained her balance nimbly and continued on.

A triumphant yowl annnounced that Blizzardkit had indeed reached the top branch. But once the euphoria had worn off, he seemed to realize that he didn't know how to get down.

"H-help!" he wailed, eyes round. Ripplekit froze and looked down as well, eyes also wide with terror. She didn't utter a sound, though. I could tell she was trying to be brave.

My eyesight took on a red tinge as I saw my kits in danger, and I abandoned my half-eaten mouse. A growl erupted from my chest as I sprung up the tree, right to where Blizzardkit was perched. His white fur looked red in my tainted vision, and I gripped his scruff.

"I won't lose you," I muttered through his fur, and leapt all the way down the tree, depositing him on the ground before going back for Ripplekit. Only when they were both on the ground, wide-eyed and panting, did I slowly stop seeing red.

Lilykit was shaking, staring at her siblings fearfully. Heartkit looked concerned, and Kestrelpaw had wide eyes.

"I'm fine," Blizzardkit declared, only a little tremblingly. Ripplekit nodded, still crouched close to the ground. What brave kits they were.

"Never do that again," I whispered, and some warriors paused and glanced at me. They probably thought I was going to have a breakdown again. Maybe I was. What did they care? I just cared about my kits. _They must all survive._

Gingerspice and Leafsong both came out of their den, checking over Blizzardkit and Ripplekit. They both got some thyme, but neither had any injuries except a few shallow scratches from the branches. I led all of my kits into the nursery then, and tucked them around me firmly.

"Nap time for all of you. Even you, Blizzardkit." He sighed, closing his eyes already, and soon succumbed to sleep. Ripplekit glared at me a little, then gave up and fell asleep beside her adopted brother. Lilykit was already curled up peacefully, her downy light grey chest moving up and down slowly to the rhythm of her breathing. Heartkit gave me a strange look as he sat there, surrounded by sleeping kits.

"There's something in me," he whispered, looking suddenly like the vulnerable kit he was before he got partially stabbed. "Struggling to take hold. I can resist. But it's hard." He swallowed, and I licked his head soothingly.

"Shh, Heartkit. Don't worry. I will always protect you, even from what's inside." I touched where his heart would be with the tip of my tail, and he smiled a little, curling up to join his siblings in sleep.


	15. Heartkit's Destiny

Another week or so passed before it happened. What is _it?_ Well, I'll tell you. I woke up one morning and Blizzardkit and Heartkit were both gone. Their nests were cold. I threw my head back, eyes wide in alarm, and silently asked Starclan why they had to be so cruel to my kits. Had they been captured? Or, maybe they were just exploring. Even so, they could get hurt, what with their evil Darkclan father...

I looked around and Ripplekit was sleeping fitfully while Lilykit was sitting awake, eyes slightly unfocused.

"Lilykit?" I whispered. She raised her tail slowly, telling me that she could hear me but she couldn't respond. I gulped, fearing the worst, but then she focused again.

"I was connecting to Heartkit. He... left with Blizzardkit," she began, narrowing her eyes in concentration. "They wanted to play hide and go seek in the woods." I winced. "So they left... and... Blizzardkit's hiding now. Heartkit's trying to find him." I nodded grimly, and stood, stretching my stiff muscles and rousing a drowsy Ripplekit from her sleep.

"Wha...?" she muttered, blinking sleep away. And then suddenly both of my kits gasped, wincing in horror.

"What's wrong?" I demanded frantically, carrying them outside the nursery. "Are you sick? Are you in pain?" Lilykit shook her head slowly, and Ripplekit seemed frozen with shock.

"Heartkit," Lilykit whispered, paws twitching as she followed her brother with their strange mental connection. "He... ran into... Deadheart."

"_No!"_ I cried furiously, springing to my paws.

"No!" they echoed me. "He has dark oak! Heartkit..." Lilykit moaned, closing her eyes. I hesitated, watching them.

"He's talking with Deadheart. The dark oak is right there. He can't get away!" And then both fell silent. Their eyes were filled with something dark, something sinister.

"Darkclan is all there is now," Ripplekit whispered in a sinister voice.

"NO! Stop it, both of you!" I cried, nearly in tears now. Lilykit seemed to be internally struggling with the dark force in her, and she eventually gained control of herself.

"Ripplekit! Stop it! It's Heartkit's mind that's controlling you!" It took a while, but eventually Ripplekit snapped out of it and the cold, hard truth dawned on me.

"He's been changed. Fully," I murmured, dread in my voice. And then I was gone. Somehow, I knew where they'd be. I'd known it subconsciously from the start. I burst into my clearing, to be confronted with the cat I once loved and now hated, standing over my precious little son. Blizzardkit was standing behind them, mouth open in horror. Heartkit was bleeding from a chest wound that still contained a piece of dark oak wood. His eyes were wild, and his teeth bared in a snarl as I approached him.

"No! My baby..." I whimpered, and to my anger Deadheart laughed.

"_You're_ baby? I have some claim to him, too, I believe. Come to Darkclan, Heartpaw," he meowed directly to my- _our_- son. He blinked and stood as if to go, but I ran in front of him.

"Heartkit! No! Don't you remember, it's me, Shiningmoon, your mother. Remember Lilykit and Heartkit. Your home is _here,_ Heartkit!" He looked anguished for a second, then evil, then sad. Emotions swirled together in his eyes.

"My name is Heartpaw now," he said in a half-strangled voice. "I have to go... it's my destiny."

Just then, two shapes exploded out of the undergrowth. It was Lilykit and Ripplekit. a few seconds later, Silverrose, Fogstar, and Tawnydapple erupted into the clearing behind them. So much for secret clearings.

"What's happening?" Fogstar demanded, but I couldn't speak. I was staring brokenheartedly at Heartkit. Or Heartpaw. Whatever his name was now. Lilykit raced right up to her brother, and he seemed anguished at the sight of her.

"I have to go," he snapped. "Don't try and stop me. Darkclan is my home." He looked angry, then sad again. Silverrose hissed, picking up on what was happening, and sprang on Deadheart with claws unsheathed.

"You will pay!" she snarled, and was joined by Tawnydapple. Fogstar stood with my kits and I while chaos ensued. Deadheart fought back with cold precision, and seemed to heal even faster than he had while in Leafclan. His blood spattered the leaves around him, but he seemed none the weaker for it. Silverrose and Tawnydapple looked exhausted, but kept clawing at him. Feeling a sudden burst of rage, I joined them in attempting to tear apart my ex-mate.

"Blood will only make it worse," he said in an amused tone as he calmly counteracted each one of my blows. I turned to see what he meant, and Heartpaw was growling, staring at the blood. He unsheathed his claws and leapt for the battle, and I screamed.

"No!" I pushed him aside, and he made a move to claw my face. I held him down, tears running down my cheeks.

"Remember, Heartpaw! Heartkit! I am your mother. You belong with me. Not with Darkclan. Not with them. Remember everything... your friends, clanmates, family..." he sighed, and a deep sadness entered his features, to be replaced by acceptance.

"I have to." And he pushed me off of him easily, making to pad away to Darkclan. I was abruptly overwhelmed by flashbacks of all my previous heartbreaks, and knew that my heart had been broken for the fourth time.

As if from across a great distance, I saw and heard what transpired between Lilykit and Heartkit. Or, Heart_paw_. Ripplekit was glaring furiously at Deadheart while Silverrose and Tawnydapple slashed at him, and Fogstar was glancing at her worriedly.

"Heartkit, I won't let you go," Lilykit demanded firmly. She had planted herself in front of him.

"Lilykit, I have to go. My name is Heartpaw now." His voice had no emotion, which made my broken heart sear with pain as I watched.

"No! Heartpaw, don't you remember me? Your sister?" she was in tears now, practically begging at his paws. He stared at her for a while, and then nodded, emotion creeping back into his eyes as he momentarily overcame his Darkclan side.

"Yes, I do. But I have to leave. You don't understand."

"I do understand. That you can stay. We can make it work!" He looked into her pleading green eyes, and something seemed to pass between them at that moment.

"I must follow my destiny, and you must follow yours. Become a medicine cat, Lilypool. It _is_ your destiny. And this is mine... goodbye." And then... he vanished. Just like that.

"No! Heartpaw!" Ripplekit cried, flinging herself at the empty space where he had just been. Lilykit just stood there, tears pouring silently down her face while she mouthed the words her brother had just spoken.

I watched this all through a haze of flashbacks, visions, and tears, and couldn't seem to move my legs to comfort my two remaining kits. Blizzardkit was nudging me gently, trying to reassure me, but it wasn't working.

And then I fell over. Collapsed into the grass. My tears wet the springy green tendrils around me as I fell into a void of despair. Voices filled the air around me, but I couldn't understand them. All I could hear was my only son's voice saying 'goodbye'. He was a Darkclan cat now. He was one of _them._

I was a horrible mother.


	16. A Mental Connection

"Shiningmoon? ...Are you all right?" A voice pierced my sleep and I groaned a little, not moving as the previous events crashed down on me again.

"Do you think she'll be okay?" Another worried voice broke in. "How many heartbreaks has she had now, four? That's not normal. Maybe this is the end..."

Maybe this _was _the end. It didn't feel like it, though. I wasn't trailing off into nothing. I wasn't padding off to Starclan. And I knew that even if my heartbreaks killed me eventually, it wouldn't be the end.

"Mommy?" Ripplekit's voice broke my morbid thoughts, and I slowly sat up. I was in the middle of camp, and was surrounded by warriors, apprentices and kits. Including my own. My dark daughter was nudging me worriedly, gold eyes glowing with sadness.

"I'm here, Ripplekit, honey. It's okay. I'll look after you."

"B-but what about H-H-" she stuttered, and I was alarmed. Ripplekit _never_ stuttered. She was the strong one, the brave one. Lilykit was staring blankly ahead, and I knew that I wasn't the only one who suffered from heartbreaks.

"He's gone," I whispered, lowering my head. She nodded slowly and sadly, and nestled into me. Blizzardkit joined her, and then Lilykit broke out of her trance and followed.

"I'll take you into the nursery," I whispered, then carried them there and tucked them in around me, vowing to never let them out of my sight again.

My dreams were haunted by a dark vision that was chilling and strange.

_Deadheart had followed me into where I stood by the clearing stream. He looked kind. Like Beatingheart. His tail entwined easily with mine, and I was happy. But then, his eyes flashed with a red light and Heartpaw, Lilykit, and Ripplekit stood beside us. He began to laugh, and my kits seemed to be drawn into his mouth. All except Heartpaw. When Ripplekit and Lilykit were gone, he grabbed Heartpaw, then swiped a claw across my face, bringing me violently back to awareness._

I jolted upright in my nest, relieved to find that there was no blood on my face from where Deadheart had scratched me in my dream. Ripplekit and Blizzardkit were sleeping peacefully, but Lilykit was sitting up, eyes slightly unfocused. Just like yesterday.

"Lilykit?" I whispered, and her eyes focused again as she looked at me. "What were you doing?"

"I can... I can still connect with Heartpaw," she explained slowly. My eyes widened. Would she become evil, then, too? Like my precious son? But she showed no signs of evil in her eyes. Not even despair.

"I... it's like I'm sending a piece of me away, and it's always drawn to him. It's very strange. But when I'm there, he seems almost normal. In his thoughts, anyway. He acts evil to Darkstar and D-Deadheart and all of them, but we have conversations that they can't hear." She closed her eyes again, and I knew she was going back to him. I smiled slightly. So Heartpaw wasn't really that evil, after all? Thank goodness Darkstar had bound my kits together. I might have gone on for days despairing without news of him if Lilykit's connection hadn't been so strong. Ripplekit twitched in her sleep, then woke up.

"What's Lilykit doing?" she wondered, sitting beside me.

"Communicating with Heartpaw," I whispered back. Ripplekit nodded a little, then turned to me.

"My connection isn't as strong, but I know that he is safe. Just... not the same. His thoughts don't feel the same anymore. And I'm very well connected to Lilykit, too. Not that there's any need for that." She shrugged, and I licked the top of her head.

"It's a good thing, though. Just in case you get separated." Ripplekit nodded, and we lapsed into silence, watching Lilykit communicate with her now-kind of-evil brother.

After a long period of time, the little grey she-kit blinked slowly and turned to us, smiling a little.

"It's okay. He's okay. He's still our Heartpaw, somewhere.." she trailed off and drifted into sleep, tucking her tail over her nose. Ripplekit purred in amusement and licked her sister's side affectionately.

"Little sleepy head," I teased lightly, smiling down at my smallest daughter. "What do you say we go find Kestrelpaw?" I asked Ripplekit, trying to sound enthusiastic for her own sake. "Maybe he could give you some pointers on that hunters' crouch of yours." her eyes lit up and she bounded out of the den, calling for her adopted brother. Blizzardkit opened his eyes sleepily and looked at me, red eyes calm.

"Heartpaw is okay," I began, and told him everything we had discovered about his littermate. He smiled contentedly, nodding.

"That's good. I still feel guilty about everything, of course. But I think... this might actually have been his destiny.." he trailed off into silence, and I wondered if a new intelligence had entered into this kit while he was sleeping. As if to answer my question, he spoke up.

"Shiningmoon, there's something I have to do. Some... destiny I myself have to fulfill. But it's not here. I'm sorry. You've been a great mother to me. But now I have to go." He stood up, and, without casting another look back, bounded out of the den and then out of Leafclan forever. I would later see him again, but of course at the time I had no idea and was filled with sadness.

"Another kit gone," I murmured, voice filled with pain. "Why did I have six, and now only three? What have I done wrong?"


	17. Heartscorn, the Warrior

No answers came, and the weeks passed by, filled with Lilykit's constant states of being zoned out, communicating with Heartpaw, and Ripplekit trying to distract everyone from pain and sadness through games and chatter.

Many times, I would crack and run to my clearing. Filled with misery, I would take a drink from the stream and fall asleep, my dreams haunted by Darkclan and an evil, twisted version of Heartpaw. Sometimes I would think that I heard Blizzardkit, Emberkit, or Heartpaw on the breeze, calling to me. But no matter how hard I chased them, I could never find them. I began to be afraid for my own sanity. Four heartbreaks was just too much for me to deal with.

Over the next moons, greenleaf changed into leaf-fall, and nights began to get colder. I always wondered if Heartpaw was cold without me every time I tucked in for bed. And I knew that he wasn't. he wasn't my little kit anymore. he was too far away for me to comprehend.

One day, I saw Lilykit's face go blank again. I watched her idly, wondering what she and her brother were saying, and then all of a sudden everything changed. Lilykit's face was filled with horror, and she began mouthing words faster than I could follow. I caught 'I won't go', 'won't let her', 'hurt', and 'help'. I cringed, wondering what was happening to Heartpaw. All of a sudden, Lilykit's eyes cleared again, but they were filled with panic.

"Mom! Heartpaw! Darkstar's training him... and she's possessing his mind! If she found out that I was there..." she swallowed loudly. "I don't know what she'd do to Heartpaw. And supposedly, it's a painful process to be possessed. I want to go back and help him, but it would only make it worse!" her voice had grown to a wail, and I draped my tail over her small shoulders.

"It's okay, Lilykit. Darkstar won't kill him. He's such a valuable clan member to her; I can't see why she'd want to get rid of him, even if he was communicating with you. trust me, he'll be fine." Her sobs slowed down to a muffled choking, and I licked her head rhythmically, trying to soothe her.

"Shh. It's okay. He'll be okay," I crooned, hoping with all my might that what I said was true. Heartpaw might have been kind of evil, but he was still my son. and if Darkclan hurt him... they would have me to answer to.

"Lilykit! Are you okay?" Kestrelpaw called frantically, skidding across the leaves as he ran towards us.

"She's okay," I murmured to him. "Heartkit's undergoing a painful training session back in Darkclan, and she's afraid for him.

"Oh," he said, blinking in understanding and licking his adopted sister's head comfortingly. "He'll be okay, Lilykit. He always is." She nodded slowly, and then broke away from us.

"Do you think I can go back yet?" she asked in a small voice. I shook my head gently.

"I don't want to take any risks. Wait until the moon rises. It should be okay then," I said, completely guessing but hoping that this would be after Heartpaw's training session by a long shot.

"Kestrelpaw!" Tawnydapple's voice sounded. "I need you for the sunset patrol." her voice softened as she saw Lilykit, but she didn't look like she was about to change her mind any time soon. He smiled a little at Lilykit, then at me, and then followed Tawnydapple, who was quickly joined by Silverrose and Rushpaw. I sighed, watching him leave, and Lilykit trudged away to the medicine cat den without speaking. I wondered what would happen when the time came for her apprentice ceremony and her dreams were crushed like mine. She would probably be stronger than me. I knew she would be. In the meantime, I couldn't bear to forbid her from going to see Leafsong and Gingerspice. She had such a good time there. I heard Leafsong's voice from inside the den as she welcomed my daughter cheerily, and wished that my troubles could be resolved so easily as hers.

About a week later, the same kind of thing happened again. Lilykit had resumed contact with her brother and was thinking to him, her eyes glazed while Ripplekit and I looked on. Suddenly, her green eyes went wide, then filled with sadness, and then focused, just like that. Tears were streaming down her face, and I thought I saw a ghost of something leave her... it looked almost like a silver lily, but then it was gone and I thought I had imagined it.

"Lilykit, what's wrong?" Ripplekit cried, running to comfort her little sister. Kestrelpaw was out training, so he didn't see this little breakdown. I rested my orange tail on my daughter's shoulders and waited for her to calm down while she sobbed into Ripplekit's shoulder.

"H-H-Heart...scorn.." she managed to choke, before dissolving into tears again.

"Heartscorn?" I asked in bewilderment. "You mean Heartpaw got his full name in Darkclan?" Sadness entered my own face as I contemplated this. My son was truly a Darkclan now. Following in his father's pawsteps, despite my attempted warning.

"'m sorry," I whispered, part to Heartscorn and part to Lilykit.

"Th-th-that's not a-all," she mumbled in despair. "Wh-When he got his name... h-he w-wasn't g-g-good anymore! He th-thought just like a t-true Darkclan cat w-would. I-I couldn't r-really underst-stand him anymore. Just like w-with other D-D-Darkclan cats. S-so I l-left. I l-left a l-lily b-behind so that maybe he'll r-remember... m-me..." She wailed into my shoulder and I felt my mind blank with shock. Before, he'd had partial control of his evil side. He'd been able to conceal it from his Darkclan clanmates. But now.... he _was_ a Darkclan clanmate, through and through. Ripplekit whimpered slightly.

"You mean he's... one of _them_ now?" she asked, speaking my own thoughts outloud in a quivering voice. Lilykit nodded sadly.

After a long pause in which we all contemplated our sadness, Lilykit spoke up in a halfhearted falsely cheerful voice. "Well, now you don't have to sit around and watch me stare into nothing anymore..." she muttered. We didn't laugh. I licked the top of her head soothingly, and led my two remaining kits into the nursery for the night. The idle chatter of the warriors around us had stopped without my realizing; they had heard the whole conversation.

The whole clan knew that Heartpa- Heart_scorn_ was a true Darkclan cat now. I found myself wishing as I watched my kits sleep that something good would happen, just to break up this pattern of bad event after bad event.


	18. Happy Events

The next day, a kit was found. She was a little too old to be a kit, and said she was about six moons old but she wasn't sure. She called herself Echo. She was an interesting little character, and her eyes strangely changed color with her mood. Her fur was silver with little ripple-like patterns of dark markings across her back. She was soon dubbed Echopaw by Fogstar, and everything was fine. I vaguely wondered why Leafclan was picking up so many strangers these days. When I had been a kit, that hadn't happened... when I had been a kit, none of this kind of thing happened. I groaned inwardly, feeling a sudden burst of nostalgia. I wanted to be back in the good old days, with Faint and Gingerkit, tree-jumping though the trees without a care in the world. But here I was, already loaded down with four heartbreaks at my young age.

"I want my mom," Echopaw whispered, breaking me out of my thoughts and worries. I curled my tail around her, and before I thought, I said: "I'll be like a mom to you, Echopaw, if you want." _But I was such a horrible mother! Why was I offering this? It would be a curse to the poor young cat!_ but she looked so happy when she craned her neck to meet my eyes.

"Thanks," she said sincerely, and padded over to Silverrose to ask where she could sleep. I watched her, sighing.

"I can't believe this," I muttered. Arrowhead came up behind me, startling me.

"Me either," he said cheerfully, then paused. "Wait, what can't you believe?" I rolled my dull eyes at him.

"That I offered to be Echopaw's foster mother. I started out with six kits, and now look! Only two are left, and they're both depressed." I sighed miserably.

"Three, actually, if you count Kestrelpaw," he reminded me. I nodded impatiently.

"But still that's half of what I started out with. Two ran off on their own little 'adventures', and one turned evil and is already a warrior when his blood sisters are still just four-moon-old kits!" I didn't realize how loud my meow had risen until Arrowhead licked my cheek gently.

"Shh. Shiningmoon, you're a great mother. Emberkit and Blizzardkit made their own decisions, and you couldn't control what happened to Heart...scorn, now, I guess. That's just his father's doing, and there was nothing you could do to stop him." He sighed sadly. he hadn't been around when Deadheart was a live, friendly Beatingheart, but knew the story.

"Thanks, Arrowhead," I sighed. "Glad that some cats think so. But what will befall Lilykit and Ripplekit now? They've been kidnapped, witnessed torture, have _been_ tortured, and have lost their brother all in four moons. That's not a healthy way for kits to grow up. They'll be scarred for life, Arrowhead!" Again, my voice had risen.

"Shiningmoon, like I said, none of this is your fault," he said in a patient voice. "And in my opinion, Lilykit and Ripplekit are holding out fairly well, what with all they've been through." I nodded, about to respond, but then heard Tawnydapple's voice from across the clearing.

"Arrowhead, Shiningmoon, if you two have nothing better to do than stand around camp and gossip all day, you might as well go on a hunting patrol," She meowed, a teasing light in her eye, but I knew it was still an order.

"Take a warrior and apprentice with you." She meowed, then padded away. We called to Kestrelpaw and Silverrose, and padded out of camp.

"Hi, Mom," Kestrelpaw meowed cheerfully as we ran to the best hunting spot. I nodded to him, smiling affectionately, then noticed that Silverrose was falling behind. She had a determined, confused look on her face. I slowed to a stop, and the other cats followed suit.

"Silverrose? You okay?" Arrowhead asked breathlessly. She nodded, but I knew something was up.

"Maybe you should go see Leafsong," I suggested. She shrugged, but I could tell that she had been thinking the same thing because she turned back to camp, walking slowly. Kestrelpaw looked unconcerned.

"I bet she just had bellyache," he suggested, and we all ran on.

When we arrived back from camp, our jaws stuffed with voles, mice, and squirrels, I noticed Silverrose and Fogstar sitting together, a look of blissful happiness on both of their faces.

"What's up?" I asked, wanting to confirm my growing suspicion.

"I'm pregnant," Silverrose told me, her voice filled with excitement and fear.

"That's great!" I exclaimed, wincing inwardly as I remembered my own painful kitting. I hoped dearly that Silverrose's would not be like mine or... Sandbreeze.

Fogstar looked ecstatic, and I grinned at him.

"Your kits will be beautiful," I told them with certainty, then padded off to get my lunch.

I picked a sparrow off the top, not very hungry, and padded into a secluded corner to eat. Ripplekit and Lilykit were almost apprentices now; they were far past needing milk and were starting to take up a lot of space. I watched Ripplekit eagerly begging to be taught fighting moves by Kestrelpaw, Lilykit watching Gingerspice's every move while Leafsong looked on in amusement, and... Echopaw. She was sitting alone, strange colors swirling through her eyes as she watched the camp activities. I finished my sparrow quickly and padded over to her.

"Hi, Echopaw," I said brightly. "How're you doing?"

"Good," she replied in a faraway tone, smiling briefly at me.

"Don't you want to play with Kestrelpaw and Ripplekit?" I suggested gently. She shrugged, glancing at them.

"I guess. I'm content to just sit here, though." I shrugged, curling my tail over my paws, and watched my children with Echopaw.


	19. A Visit from a Hawk

Two days later, Echopaw was in the same position again, watching the camp activity. Ripplekit was practicing her battle skills on an innocent leaf, and Lilykit was watching with a depressed look in her eyes.

I was just about to go and comfort her when I heard a gasp from the fresh-kill pile. Tawnydapple had taken a hawk from the fresh-kill pile, about to share it with Silverrose, and it was _moving!_ My jaws dropped open and I padded closer to look.

It had opened its eyes, and I saw that they were bloodred in color.

"Go ahead," it rasped. "Kill me." Its voice sounded strangely familiar, but I shook it off. Tawnydapple stared, perplexed. It crouched low to the ground, dipping its wings in surrender.

"I am wounded. I cannot escape. It is the natural order of things for you to kill us hawks, so please, go ahead." No one moved. The hawk's eyes flashed, and he straightened up, losing the wounded facade and fluttering over to stand on Echopaw's shoulder. She looked surprised and afraid, and I glared at the bird.

"I don't care what it says, I'm killing it," I hissed through my teeth, launching myself at the hawk. It watched with amusement as Tawnydapple held me back.

"Wait," she hissed. "If it wants us to kill it, that probably means that we shouldn't." I growled, but didn't try to lunge forward again, so the dappled she-cat let me go with a warning glance.

"Why do you kill?" the hawk was hissing in Echopaw's ear. I listened with gritted teeth. "Why do you kill hawks, mice... voles...?" Echopaw shook her head, glancing nervously at me.

"Um, to eat," she responded. "It's the natural order of things. The way the world is. We kill to survive." The hawk laughed, and I suddenly realized why his voice was so familiar with a sickening jolt. I cast a panicked glance over at Lilykit, and I could see wild loss and sadness in her clear green eyes.

_Heartscorn_, she mouthed to me, and I nodded slowly. Meanwhile, the hawk- Heartscorn kept talking to Echopaw.

"You see, Leafclan, Echofall speaks truly. Killing is the natural order of things, no?" By then, the whole clan seemed to have realized that the hawk was Heartblaze.

"Wh-what did you call me?" Echopaw asked, eyes round.

"Echofall, my little falcon," Heartscorn purred, smiling at her. How he smiled with a beak, I didn't know. She looked perplexed, but also a little... admiring? I shook my head to clear it, thinking I was imagining things.

"Killing _prey_ is the natural order of things," Silverrose clarified boldly. "Not what Darkclan does." Heartscorn smiled with his beak again.

"Ah, but did you ever stop and think that to Darkclan, Leafclan _is_ prey?" He chuckled, and mutters spread throughout the clan.

"You kill for sport. We kill to survive," I pointed out, staring at my son with pain glazing over my eyes. As he turned to look at me, I thought I saw a flash of my own pain in his red eyes, but then it was gone and I was sure I had imagined it. It was replaced with contempt.

"You know nothing about why Darkclan does what they do," he hissed at me, and I flinched, dropping my gaze. If only... If only I had been a good mother...

"Think over what I have said," he purred, sweeping his red gaze over all of us before coming to a rest on Echopaw. "Especially you, Echofall..." he whispered before vanishing on the spot.

The camp was filled with stunned silence, and then the mutters began spreading.

"Wasn't that Shiningmoon's son?"

"What did he call the new apprentice? Echo_fall?"_

"Did he really expect us to give in?"

"Darkclan cats can turn into _birds??"_

I listened to all of this, my mind blank. This was the first time I had seen Heartscorn since he had been forced to go to Darkclan with Deadheart. I hadn't expected him to be _that_ won over. He still had my blood, after all, surely I had some claim on him? It was odd how he seemed to be not even related to me, but as close as can be with Deadheart, when he looked exactly like me. Lilykit was the one who acted the most like me, and she didn't look like either me or Deadheart. So there you have it. Genetics are weird.

While I was mulling over these deep thoughts, Ripplekit had padded over to Lilykit to comfort her, and Kestrelpaw was staring at the place where his foster brother had disappeared, paws frozen with shock. Silverrose was glancing down at her not-yet-swollen belly with worry, and Tawnydapple was muttering insulting comments concerning Darkclan. Fogstar had his tail wrapped around his mate and was talking to her soothingly. But Echopaw was the one I noticed. She was staring at the shoulder that my son had perched on with a strange look in her eyes, and her eyes were changing color quickly.

"Echopaw?" I asked her hesitantly.

"Huh? Oh, Shiningmoon. I'm okay," she said, picking up on what I was going to ask before I could ask it.

"All right... Heartscorn didn't scare you too bad, right?" I asked with concern.

"What? Oh, no. Definitely. I'm fine." She smiled reassuringly at me, and I sighed, smiling back before padding over to Lilykit and Ripplekit.

"Are you two okay?" I asked in a low voice, knowing that it had been traumatic for them, watching their brother acting like their evil father. They looked up at me with wide eyes, and Lilykit nodded slightly. I could tell that Ripplekit was trying to be strong for her sister, and wished that there was someone that could be strong for her... like a brother... I sighed and wrapped my tail around both of them, and we stayed that way for a while, taking comfort from one another.

"Shiningmoon, could you take this to Silverrose?" Gingerspice's calm voice interrupted us. I turned to see her clutching a large pile of borage. I nodded.

"Sure, Gingerspice," I meowed, sadness in my voice as I picked up the herbs.

"I'm sorry about your son," she meowed gently, placing her tail on my shoulder consolingly for a brief moment and then padding away to sort herbs with Leafsong. I smiled a little, glad to have friends, and walked off into the nursery, where I was greeted by a friendly meow from Silverrose.

"Is that borage?" she asked, inhaling. I nodded, placing the herbs beside her.

"Hey, I'm sorry about Heartscorn," she meowed sypathetically around her mouthful of herbs. She swallowed quickly before continuing. "I'm sure that underneath the hard, Darkclan-inflicted exterior, there's our good old Heartkit. It's odd that he has a warrior name while his sisters are still 'kits..." I nodded, my eyes hollow.

"I guess there might be. But if there is, it's very well buried and carefully guarded. Did you notice how he was talking to Echopaw?" I meowed, curiosity touching my voice. Silverrose shook her head. "He kept calling her 'Echofall' and 'his little falcon'... it was disconcerting." I sighed, thinking of the confusing stories, emotions, and powers that surrounded the son that looked so much like me.

"Well, I'll see you later, I suppose," I said after a length where we both contemplated the previous conversation. She nodded, resting her chin on her silver paws and closing her eyes. I backed out of the nursery quietly, leaving her to sleep. Her kits would be coming in a few moons.


	20. A Betrayal and a Falcon

The next day, I saw the hawk again. The Heartscorn-hawk. I gritted my teeth and tried to ignore him, until he swooped down to sit beside Echopaw again. She looked completely baffled.

"Hello, Echofall," Heartscorn said smoothly.

"Hi.." she said, sounding more than a little confused. "Are you the cat from Darkclan? everyone keeps saying that's who you are." He nodded gravely.

"Enough about me, though. Tell me, how did you find Leafclan? Are your parents from here?"

"N-no, I don't have parents here." I thought I saw something in her eyes, like there was something important about her parents that no one else knew. "Where were you born?"

"I was born here, but my parents cast me out; abandoned me." His voice was sad, and I drew in a shocked, angered breath, about to cut in, but Lilykit beat me to it.

"Don't listen, Echopaw," she meowed in biting tones, looking anywhere but at her brother. "It's a lie. That's all he speaks nowadays. He left of his own accord, no one forced him to leave. We tried to make him stay, but in the end, he decided to go." Her voice cracked on the word _go_, and I saw that she was struggling to maintain an indifferent attitude. Heartscorn's eyes glimmered with what might have been sadness, but it was quickly gone.

"She's the one who's lying, Echofall, my falcon. I did not choose to leave Leafclan, though it was my destiny to do so." Echopaw narrowed her eyes, looking confused and torn.

"Echopaw, he's lying!" Lilykit practically sobbed. "Don't believe him." _He's trying to turn her against us,_ I thought. _But why her? Is he trying to follow in his father's footsteps by convincing her that he loved her, producing new recruits for Darkclan, then betraying her? They wouldn't have that much Darkclan blood, though. They'd only be one quarter Darkclan._ What was I thinking? Echopaw and Heartscorn were not going to fall in love, and definitely would not have kits!

"Lilykit, why don't you and Ripplekit go to the nursery and keep Silverrose company," I suggested through clenched teeth. She looked about to disobey, but then seemed to decide that she should, after all, do as I told her, and called to her sister, padding slowly into the nursery. I thought I saw a trace of longing in Heartscorn's eyes, but I was positive I imagined it.

"I am... confused," Echopaw was meowing to him. I maintained a safe distance so it would not be obvious I was eavesdropping. "What is your real past, Heartscorn?" He hesitated before replying.

"Follow me, Echofall, and I will explain everything to you."

"My name isn't Echofall," she said slowly. "Why don't you call me Echopaw?"

"Would you prefer I call you Echopaw instead of Echofall?" he inquired with a knowing gleam in his eyes

"...No..."

"Then, Echofall, fly with me." He flapped his wings once, rising to the air to look down on Echopaw. She looked wondering, confused, and then suddenly, she changed. I don't think anyone else in camp noticed the apprentice suddenly changing into a magnificent falcon, as the pair were in a secluded corner of camp, but I definitely did. I stifled a shocked gasp as she took to the air, flying along with my son until their images wavered, disappearing suddenly.

_Well, that was weird,_ I thought, shrugging and wondering where they had gone, and if Echopaw would be all right. Was he taking her to Darkclan to be imprisoned? I shuddered, hoping desperately that that was not the case.

"What are you doing standing there like a moonstruck rabbit?" Tawnydapple's voice startled me out of my thoughts, and I jumped slightly.

"What? Oh, Tawnydapple. I was... thinking." She nodded, looking unimpressed.

"Mm hm. Well, maybe you could join a hunting patrol, then?" she meowed, smiling and momentarily losing the deputy air. "I could use a friend with me, now Silverrose is stuck in the nursery. I mean, even though you have kits, you can still patrol." I nodded, standing and padding over to stand beside the deputy.

"Sure, Tawnydapple. I could use a stretch." I flexed my muscles, bounding over to the camp entrance. Gingerspice padded up to us, smiling.

"Off hunting?" she meowed, and it struck me again how different our paths were now. Tawnydapple and I nodded.

"I'm going to gather some herbs by the stream. See you later, I guess." She nodded, bounding up a tree and beginning to tree-jump towards the stream.

Once Tawnydapple and I had returned with plentiful prey, we noticed that Gingerspice wasn't back yet.

"Wonder where she got off to," Tawnydapple mused, biting into a plump vole.

"Now that's two cats," I muttered, not eating anything.

"What?"

"Echopaw went off with Heartscorn," I meowed worriedly. "I don't know where he took her. If they're not back by sunset, I don't know what I'll do," I sighed, looking down.

"Oh, great," Tawnydapple muttered. "If she got imprisoned, then we'll have to send out a patrol again, and we might get injured, and even then we might be too late." she sighed heavily. "You know, this Darkclan issue can be really annoying sometimes."

I _mrrowed_ with amusement in spite of myself just as Echopaw strolled into camp, looking very much like she hadn't just turned into a falcon and disappeared with a red-eyed hawk.

"There you are!" I cried with relief. She appeared to be glowing with happiness, and I wondered what in the world could have made her so happy. That was when I got a dark feeling. What if she was already falling in love with Heartscorn? I wouldn't let him break her heart like his father broke mine.

"Yep, here I am!" she meowed brightly, licking my shoulder quickly. She said nothing else and padded off into the apprentice den before we could question her about where in the world she'd been.

Gingerspice padded into the camp then, carrying no herbs and bearing a worried, confused expression.

"What-" I began, but she shook her head, padding into the medicine cat den to speak with Leafsong. I cocked my head in puzzlement, wondering what could have happened while she was out.


	21. Prophecies and Losses

At length, the ginger she-cat padded back out of the den, straight over to me.

"What happened?" I asked, completing my earlier question. She sighed, biting into a mouse and chewing slowly. I waited impatiently while she finished the fresh-kill, and then she spoke.

"Something happened while I was by the stream. A green tiger appeared to me."

"Darkstar?" I asked, shocked.

"No. This one looked different, and claimed to be Lighteyes, Darkstar's sister. She told me that she disliked her sister, but was under Darkstar's control. She only had a few moments before Darkstar found that she was talking to me. She told me she had a prophecy... it basically said that 'one of purple and one of change' would bring about the downfall of Darkstar. Then she was gone." She sighed, obviously deeply troubled, and her eyes changed to a deep blue color as she pondered. I realized that both her eyes and Echopaw's changed color according to their moods. It was odd how they did that.

"Why did she tell you, and not Leafsong?" I wondered. The senior medicine cat would have been the obvious choice to deliver a prophecy to. She shrugged, looking annoyed at herself for not being able to figure out the prophecy. Her eyes became tinted with sharp yellow.

"What's going on?" Faintbracken meowed, padding up to us. She was looking rather plump for the leaf-bare season, and I wondered if she'd been sneaking extras at the fresh-kill pile.

"A prophecy," Gingerspice responded in a hushed voice, and told Faintbracken what she had told me. "We don't know what it means at all," she meowed in a despairing voice.

"Well, one of purple and one of change are probably cats," proffered Faintbracken. I nodded in agreement.

"But there's no such thing as a purple cat. What about a cat that changes? It could be a cat who changes identity all the time. Or mood," I suggested, grasping at ideas.

"I guess," said Gingerspice reluctantly, "but I think that the 'purple' one and the 'change' one are related somehow. Like they're one thing that's purple for one cat and changes for another..." She trailed off into silence, eyes changing to a brooding brown as she thought.

"I'll leave you to it," said Faintbracken after a while, and she padded away, leaping into a tree and tree-jumping out of camp. I briefly wondered where she was going.

"There she is!" came a little squeak, and I turned to see Ripplekit and Lilykit trotting up to me. They were getting big, I noticed. Ripplekit was pointing to me with her tail, and Lilykit looked relieved and worried.

"Hi, Gingerspice!" she meowed excitedly, staring up at the medicine cat apprentice. Gingerspice smiled back warmly, and I drew my kits to me with my tail.

"Why'd you leave the nursery?" I scolded gently.

"It's boring in there!" Ripplekit protested, squirming out from underneath my tail. "Silverrose doesn't have any kits for us to play with yet." I smiled slightly, wondering at how kits could be so... carefree at a time like this. Maybe we should all behave like kits from time to time, I thought idly. It may make the clan a happier place.

"Well, everyone's back now. You two will be apprentices soon, I'm sure. You're both five moons tomorrow, you know." I grinned as they bounced with excitement, Lilykit looking slightly confused at the same time. Like she wasn't sure if she should be happy about that or not. Oh, boy. I stifled a sigh. Lilykit was headed off on a heartbreaking destiny, that was for sure... why hadn't I attempted to turn her away? Because I liked seeing her happy. But e wouldn't be that way much longer...

A few weeks later, it was raining. It was raining incredibly hard, and the ground was beginning to flood.

"Great," I muttered, sloshing through the muddy rainwater with a mouse clutched between my teeth. I bit into it hungrily beside the nursery, taking shelter in a rock alcove, sitting on a slightly raised patch of earth.

"It's wet," Lilykit complained, shaking her paws as she padded out to sit next to me and had to struggle through water to get there.

"If this keeps up, we my have a full-scale flood, like Waterclan did," I agreed. I hadn't been born yet duing the legendary Waterclan food, but apparently it had been deeper than a river. Everyone had had to evacuate. I shuddered. That wouldn't happen.

"Where's Ripplekit?" I asked her. She was pressing up against the rocks, glaring in annoyance at the rain around her.

"She's inside," Lilykit answered, glancing towards the entrance to the nursery.

"How about we all go inside, and I'll tell you a story," I suggested, and Lilykit brightened up almost instantly.

"'Kay!" she exclaimed excitedly, sloshing back into the nursery as fast as she could. I followed, smiling a little, and sat down while my two remaining kits settled themselves around me. I listened to the rain pounding on the well-crafted roof, and looked around.

"Once, a very long time ago, there was a great group of cats called the Sky cats," I began, telling an old elders' tale about a lone cat who had discovered Leafclan, Waterclan, Fireclan, and Shadeclan on his own through an epic journey through forests, seas, and mountains. Ripplekit and Lilykit were captivated through most of it, but by the end, they were both sound asleep. I licked both of their heads fondly before beginning to settle myself beside them, when I heard a shriek from outside.

Jolting to my feet, I rushed outside into the pounding rain to see what the commorion was. The camp was mostly empty, because all of the cats were avoiding the destructive rainfall. But lying atop a rasied hillock in the ground was Faintbracken, and her sides were heaving.

"Faintbracken!" I cried, rushing over to her. A kit lay beside her, and I watched as another kit was born. "You're having kits!" I briefly wondered who the father was before I called for the meidicine cats.

"Leafsong! Gingerspice! Faintbracken's having kits!" I cried, licking my friend's head anxiously while she shuddered in effort. A black head poked out of the medicine cat den, and I sighed in relief as Leafsong ran over with a pouch of lavendar and borage.

"You're doing fine, Faintbracken," she murmured, biting through the sacks of the kits and licking them. When she was done with that, she went back to Faintbracken. Gingerspice came hurrying over then.

"Faintbracken! You're doing okay, you're..."she trailed off as a gush of blood mingled with the flooding rainwater. "Oh, no..." Something had gone wrong. That much I could figure out. A kit emerged from Faintbracken's body, and then another. They were licked by Gingerspice while Leafsong and I watched the striped she-cat anxiously.

"It... wasn't supposed to hurt this much," Faintbracken muttered, moaning as more blood colored the surrounding water. Leafsong made her eat some lavender.

"This might help," she said without much hope. Lavender wouldn't stop the bleeding, and te holes in the she-cat coudn't be patched up until all of the kits were born. One more kit finally emerged, and I cleaned it thouroughly. When I was done and had placed it with the other kits, I looked up. Faintbracken appeared to be in the process of naming her kits.

"...and the last one... Gingerkit," she whispered faintly, smiling weakly at Gingerspice before collapsing.

"NO!" all three of us yelled at once. "Faintbracken, no," Gingerspice moaned. She buried her nose in her friend's fur, and I joined her, licking Faintbracken's shoulder one last time and remembering tree-jumping with her, going on patrols, the conversations... all gone. It couldn't be. Gingerspice had retreated into depressed silence, remaining motionless by the tabby queen's side. Leafsong was watching us sadly, head bowed slightly.

"Why, Starclan?" she howled. "Why must you bring all the misfortune you have down on us?" Lost for any more words, she sunk to the ground, despairing at having lost a patient. I knew that Leafsong rarely ever lost a patient, she was so good.

It wasn't for a while that we remembered the kits. Gingerspice looked over, about to say something, and the words froze on her lips. The kits were gone, swept away by the rising water. "No! I can't believe this!" she fumed, glaring out over the water. "How can Faintbracken _and_ her kits be lost at the same time? It isn't fair!" she cried. I nodded sadly, scanning the water. Were there kit heads in there somewhere? I thought I spotted a black head... or was that driftwood? And, was that ginger fur there, or a leaf? It as hopeless. The whole family of Faintbracken had been wiped out.

_ Faintbracken's five kits have been born. _The words seemed to echo around the camp. The others looked bemused, and I knew I wasn't the only one who had heard it. They said nothing, however, too overcome with grief, as was I. I retreated to the nursery gloomily, curling up around my kits carefully, trying not to get them too wet. I watched as the rain outside gradually stopped, and the floodwater soaked into the ground, and the next thing I knew, I was asleep. It was that dream again, the one where Deadheart was in the clearing, being all friendly, when all of a sudden, he bared his fangs at me and glared, becoming evil. Suddenly, he turned into Heartscorn.

"Come back to me," I pleaded with him, my eyes hopeful. He shook his head sadly, then suddenly a cat appeared beside him. It was Echopaw! She reached out a paw, placing it on his chest. Heartscorn gradually seemed to glow, until he was emitting bright light. He smiled, then abruptly vanished, taking Echopaw with him and leaving only darkness.

I woke up, panting, and saw that Lilykit was sitting in the corner of the den, eyes closed as if meditating, but I knew better. She never stopped trying to see into her brother's mind, but she told me that he now had a wall of evil around his consciousness, impossible to penetrate. Ripplekit was sleeping beside me, brow furrowed as she muttered dark things under her breath. A sudden thought struck me as I watched her sleep. Would the connection between my kits and Heartscorn, once only useful, make them evil themselves? I knew, of course, then, that this must have been what Darkstar was planning for all along: she would have all of my kits, in her own, twisted way. I fought back a wail as the truth of it all came crushing down. All this craziness with my kits, Darkclan, and now Faintbracken... it hurt to think her name.

"I can't find him." Lilykit's voice jolted me back to the nursery. She looked so depressed, slouched there in the corner. I noticed with some surprise that she and her sister were getting much bigger now, big enough to pass for apprentices. Ripplekit definitely could, but the more slight, tiny Lilykit was still on the small side. Her beautiful and unique green eyes met mine, and I smiled reassuringly at her, sighing inwardly. What would happen when they grew up?

"Mornin'," Ripplekit's sleepy voice came. "What happened last night, Mom?" she asked, eyes round. "I heard a wail, and you left. Then I fell asleep. But I just know something horrible happened..." she sighed, biting her lip. I nodded sadly, drawing the two she-kits to my side with my tail.

"Faintbracken had kits last night," I began. The two daughters gasped in unison. "No one knows who the father was," I said in answer to the question on their faces. "Anyway, something went wrong, and she died. While we were preoccupied with her death-" I winced at how indifferent that sounded, "-her kits were swept away into the flood. We don't know if they made it to land or drowned." Lilykit wailed in dismay, and Ripplekit wrapped her tail comfortingly around her sister, though her own eyes were wide in sadness and anger.

"Why does all this bad stuff happen to us?" Ripplekit demanded angrily. I sighed, licking her on the head.

"I don't know, honey... I don't know."


	22. Fogstar's Decision

"All cats old enough to catch their own prey join here for a clan meeting!" Fogstar yowled from his place on the highrock. The same words, always repeated no matter what. I t gave me comfort, but strangely it also gave me a feeling of hollow emptiness.

Ripplekit ran forward, hopping in excitement, but Lilykit followed more slowly, biting her lip. She cast a brief glance at Leafsong and Gingersice, who were sitting next to me, then continued on until she reached the foot of the highrock.

"Ripplekit, from this day forward until you receive your warrior name, you will be known as Ripplepaw. Tawnydapple will be your mentor." The two cats touched noses, and I felt a burst of pride, but also a bit of worry. They were growing up so fast! What if they had to fight Darkclan now? I didn't think of what I would do then.

"Lilykit," Fogstar began, and Lilykit nodded hesitantly. "from this day on, you will be known as Lilypaw, until you receive your warrior name. Your mentor will be Lightningflower." I had a brief flashback of hearing Firestar so long ago... "your mentor will be Cinderclaw..." Cinderclaw hadn't been the medicine cat. Well, neither was Lightningflower. But this time, Lilypaw had known in advance that her hopes were in vain. Leafclan could not have three medicine cats. I was amazed at how selfless my daughter was, much more so than I had been. For example, she didn't go tearing off into the woods right after the ceremony, and she listened to Gingerspice's consolation, even gave her a friendly smile before padding over to the fresh-kill pile with Rippleki-, I mean, Ripplepaw. This would take some getting used to.

A week later I woke up from the warriors' den and padded outside, stretching.

"How strange, to be a warrior," I meowed to Tawnydapple, who was sitting nearby. She grinned.

"I wouldn't know," she meowed, licking her paw. I sighed. I had barely been a warrior a moon, as I had had kits so quickly. I felt like a cat who has just recently been an apprentice, and as I was practicing my fighting moves the other day, I had realized how out of practice I was with those, too.

Ripplepaw and Lilypaw came padding out of the apprentice den together, tails interlocked. Lilykit was saying something to Ripplekit with a worried expression.

"...if I'll be good," I caught at the end. Ripplepaw licked her sister consolingly.

"It's okay, we're apprentices! We're _supposed_ to learn!" Ripplepaw looked as happy as ever. She had recently discovered that she had an uncanny knack for hunting, and today was to be the pair's first fighting lesson.

"Hey, ready to go?" Tawnydapple called to them. Lilypaw's mentor emerged from the den, meowed hello, and the four cats padded off, leaving me more or less alone in the clearing. Echopaw was sitting nearby, licking her claws.

"Hi," I meowed, padding over to her. Her eyes were a deep purpley-blue color. I would never get over her and Gingerspice's changing eyes. Mine were either light or dull, and they certainly hadn't been light in a while, or 'shining,' as my name hinted.

"Hi," Echopaw replied thoughtfully.

"Listen, what do you do with Heart- Heartscorn?" I asked abruptly, curious. The apprentice was slow to respond, and her eyes swirled into a more blue color.

"I think he's really an okay cat, on the inside," she meowed quietly after a while. I suppressed a sigh.

"He _was_ a good cat," I said gently. "My son was a very good cat. But when the dark oak goes in some cat's heart... it can never truly come out. Echopaw, he's not the same cat he once was. You have to understand that." She sighed, glancing at me.

"I know that," she said a bit impatiently. "But I think he's not really like the rest of them. He's more like you." My eyes widened a little, but before I could come up with a response to that, Fogstar came padding across the clearing, and Arrowhead came up to us from the warriors' den.

"Ah, Shiningmoon, Arrowhead. I was hoping to talk to Tawnydapple, but she's out training," Fogstar meowed in his deep voice.

"About what?" Echopaw piped up.

"Er, Echopaw, honey, maybe you and Kestrelpaw could go and get some prey for the clan," I suggested awkwardly.

"No, it's okay, she can stay," Fogstar interrupted. Echopaw glanced a little smugly at me.

"What did you want to talk about?" Arrowhead asked, repeating Echopaw's question.

"I'm thinking that the time has come to make a real stand against Darkclan," Fogstar meowed quietly. All was dead silent for a time.

"Like, war?" Echopaw asked, eyes wide.

"Yes," Fogstar responded gravely. "I wanted to talk it over with my senior warriors first, though. What do you all think? I know that it's a great risk, but..." he trailed off, and I knew what we were all continuing in our heads: _but we have to do _something.


	23. Preparations

"I think that might be necessary," Arrowhead said after a time. I nodded in agreement with only a little hesitation, and Echopaw seemed worried.

"Isn't that really dangerous, though?" she asked, a nervous tone coloring her voice. _Echopaw? Afraid of battle? What an oxymoron,_ I was thinking, until it hit me. If she was honestly worried about fighting Heartscorn... oh, no. Where was this going to end? Another heartbreak, I was sure. I had five so far.. how many would my foster daughter have?

"It could be," Fogstar replied after a moment's hesitation. "but we have to do _something_. I won't just stand here doing nothing while my clan is attacked and cats are stolen." I flinched, thinking of Heartscorn. I nodded in agreement, and I saw Arrowhead nearby nodding, as well. Silverrose came out of the nursery. Her belly was not yet swollen.

"What's all this about fighting Darkclan?" she asked her mate, coming over to stand beside us.

"I think that may be what we have to do," Fogstar said. "Like I told them, something must be done. Do you think you will be able to fight?" he asked with concern, curling his tail protectively over Silverrose's shoulders.

"Of course," she said scornfully, rolling her shoulders. I raised my eyebrows, but said nothing.

"Maybe you should see Leafsong about that one," Arrowhead suggested with a hint of amusement coloring his voice.

"Yes, all right, then," Silverrose agreed grudgingly. "So when is this battle going to be, anyways?"

"Two, maybe three days from now," Fogstar replied without missing a beat. My eyes widened.

"So soon?" I cried incredulously. He nodded, sighing again.

"We _have_ to obliterate them, before anything else happens." I knew what we were all thinking after that. _But what happens if _they_ obliterate _us? I sheathed and unsheathed my claws into the ground nervously. What would happen if Deadheart showed up? I hated him now. But after all those moons of loving him, it was strange.

"Arrowhead, you can oversee the training of the apprentices," Fogstar instructed. "Tawnystar and Shiningmoon can enforce the dens in case Darkclan comes here, and Silverrose- you go and ask Leafsong if you can fight or not," Fogstar added tenderly. She flicked his ear with her tail before padding off to the medicine cat den, and I tried to remember back to the time when she'd tried to kill Leafsong and Gingerspice. How long the past was already!

Two days later, we were all assembled. To my dismay, Ripplepaw and Lilypaw would be fighting in the battle. They knew a few moves, and Ripplepaw fought with a passion I had never seen before, but Lilypaw… she didn't like fighting, and I could tell just from watching her. She flinched every time she hit someone, and moved too slowly too be very good at it, anyway.

"It's okay," Ripplepaw was comforting her sister. "If we see dad- we get to take everything he ever did to us out on him." Lilypaw didn't look convinced, but Ripplepaw seemed to be cheered by her own remark.

Silverrose was standing close beside Fogstar, their tails intertwined. She had been allowed to fight this battle, but had been told to take it easy by Gingerspice and Leafsong.

Gingerspice, I saw, had a look of confusion and worry on her face. Was she afraid of the battle? She didn't seem the type, but that could be the only logical explanation. She would be coming with us to heal any wounded cats on the spot. Leafsong would be staying behind.

"Today," Fogstar began grandly, standing up and pacing back and forth among the rows of Leafclan cats. "Today, we fight for Leafclan. We fight because Darkclan has taken everything away from us: our kits, our spirit, and even a few of our warriors." His gazed rested on me for a moment, and I flinched, looking away.

"But most of all, they have taken away our pride. They think they can come and go as they please, wreak havoc on us. But… they… can't." He dug his claws into the ground and surveyed every cat there.

"And we are going into battle today to prove that!" There was a roar of agreement and defiance, and I joined in. I heard Ripplepaw yelling at the top of her lungs, and Lilypaw joining in after a moment's hesitation. I could tell that it would bother her to confront Heartscorn in battle, and I agreed. How could I battle my own son? Even fighting a cat who pretended to be my mate for a time and stole my kits, my love, and my very essence, was hard to do.

"Onward!" I'll never remember exactly how we did it, but all I can think of is that some sort of portal opened up, because the next thing I knew, I was standing in the middle of a shadowy camp that was horribly familiar and menacing eyes were staring at me from every corner.

And that's when all Dark Forest broke loose.


	24. A Battle Like No Other

I flew at the nearest warrior, sinking my claws into their fur and biting at any bit of them I could find, and soon discovered it was Winterfrost. I knew him.

He fought back with surprising speed and skill, and I found myself being flung across the clearing, hitting my head against a tree.

"Shiningmoon! Are you all right?" Gingerspice's voice swum in my ear, and all I could say was,

"Uhh." She frantically fed me a herb I didn't recognize, and my head began to clear.

"Thanks, I should probably go back into the battle," I said, getting to my paws, but when I looked Gingerspice wasn't there. No one was. A vision flashed across my eyes of a dark cave, and I saw a tiger standing at the end.

"I've been waiting for you…" the tiger said. Standing at her side was another cat I didn't recognize, and I knew who the tiger was. Darkstar. Suddenly, the vision cleared, and I blinked, disoriented. Was that what was happening to Gingerspice? There was no time to find out. I flew at another warrior, battling with everything I had, and this time I was able to hold my own pretty well. We were fairly evenly matched. On the other side of the clearing, I saw Ripplepaw and Lilypaw taking on Winterfrost. _No!_ I tried to push my way past the warrior I was fighting, but another one barred my way, and I had to focus on deflecting her. I watched out of the corner of my eye as I battled furiously, and winced as Ripplepaw was flung into a tree. She didn't move. Lilypaw cried out in an anguished way, rushing over to her sister, then turned to face Winterfrost angrily. She sprung at him, but I knew it was hopeless. She fell to the ground as well, scratched and bleeding, and didn't move.

"NO!" I roared, finally finding my way past the wall of Darkclan warriors, leaving many bleeding in my wake, and ran over to my daughters. To my relief, they were both still breathing, but they were knocked out. Frantically, I dragged them into the forest, and realized that Gingerspice was gone again. What to do, what to do? I left them there, promising myself that I'd come back for them, and flew back into battle again.

To my dismay, I noticed that many Leafclan warriors were lying on the ground, injured, and the wounds that we had given Darkclan were healing at an alarming rate. We were losing.

"Hiya!" I cried, not really knowing what I was doing, and kicked out at a small black she-cat Darkclan warrior. She hissed in outrage, and I battled her furiously, earning myself a nasty belly wound that stung like crazy and a few deep scratches in my shoulder. She lunged for my throat and I narrowly dodged her, breathing heavily.

"Leafclan, retreat to camp!" I heard Fogstar yowl, and gave the she-cat a parting blow before racing off to join my clanmates. I disappeared in a flash of light and found myself back in the light again, Darkclan cats everywhere. Apparently they had teleported with us. I noticed Ripplepaw beside me, awake again, leaning over Lilypaw, who was still out. They seemed to have teleported with us, as well.

"Help her, mom!" Ripplepaw cried, and I noticed to some alarm that Gingerspice was still no where to be found. I ducked over and grabbed my small daughter by the scruff.

"Fight, but don't do anything stupid!" I cried through Lilypaw's light gray fur, and Ripplepaw nodded, looking worried, and leaped at another Darkclan warrior. I hurried through the crowd, pushing aside foe and friend, until I reached the medicine cat den. Leafsong was standing inside, and I plopped Lilypaw down in front of her.

"Do something," I said simply, and the she-cat bent over my daughter, spreading marigold and cobwebs here and there. I watched worriedly for a while, then ran back outside. I began fighting another warrior, this time a light gray she-cat with freaky red eyes. Why did all Darkclan cats seem to have red eyes? Even my son… Speaking of my son, where was he? I hadn't seen him fighting all throughout the battle. I clawed the Darkclan warrior in the face, and she yowled in pain, becoming nothing but smoke between my paws.

"Guess she had enough," I muttered, and spun around, looking for another opponent. Silverrose was fighting Winterfrost with burning hatred gleaming in her eyes, and I saw Deadheart facing off Tawnydapple and Fogstar. Yowling, I leaped in to join them.

"Miss me?" he said in amusement, sidestepping my attack easily. I growled in response and came at him with everything I had. Still, I found myself being flung across the clearing again for the second time that day, and sat up blearily. In front of me was a ginger and white cat, and next to him was a silver cat. They appeared to be talking. My vision cleared slightly, and I noticed with a jolt that it was Heartscorn and Echopaw. Heartscorn's eyes were their usual amber again, and Echopaw did not look like she was afraid of getting skewered in the least.

"H-Heartscorn?" I mumbled, staggering forward. He nodded, smiling at me. "Echofall here has helped me become a new cat," he told me, smiling at Echopaw. I would never understand why he called her Echofall. She grinned back at him warmly, and I realized that they really did love each other. But… Heartscorn was becoming good again?

"Really?" I said, happy. "Oh, that's wonderful, Heartscorn… you'll need a new name… your sisters are still just barely apprentices, you know…" I went on like this for quite some time, when Echopaw glanced at the battle.

"We should fight," She said. I nodded, and we both leaped into battle. Heatscorn stayed behind, looking like he wasn't quite sure who he should be fighting for.

I dug my claws into the nearest Darkclan warrior, fighting him with everything I had, though I was beginning to feel woozy from loss of blood. I saw Echopaw, Ripplepaw, and Kestrelpaw all taking on the black she-cat I had been fighting earlier; I saw Arrowhead clawing Winterfrost spectacularly; I saw Silverrose and Tawnydapple fighting a Darkclan warrior side by side, matching one another stride for stride as they drove the warrior back, but despite all this… I knew that we could never defeat Darkclan by ourselves. The way they healed so quickly and the way they seemed to have tireless energy set me to believing this, and though the warrior I was battling disappeared into shadows with a yowl of pain, I despaired.

And then, suddenly: I never knew quite what happed, or how, or why. But a great portal opened up in the sky above us, and a monstrous wind began sweeping through the camp. Darkclan cats were being lifted off their paws, but for some reason, the wind did not affect me. Darkstar was perched in a tree, of all places, and Gingerspice and another cat were beside her. With a jolt, I realized that the other cat had purple eyes, and Gingerspice's were changing color rapidly. _One of purple and one of change…_ so Gingerspice and this other cat were part of the prophecy! But that was all in the back of my mind. The wind yet raged on, and Darkclan cats left and right were sucked into the whirling portal. Deadheart whizzed past me, then Winterfrost, then the black she-cat, then the gray one, then that big tabby from before, and suddenly everyone was gone.

But the portal was still there. What was it waiting for? And then, I saw it. Heartscorn was clinging on to a tree with his front claws with everything he had, not letting himself get blown away. Echopaw was attempting to help him, and a few cats were cheering him on, while a few looked dumbfounded.

And then, a miracle. The portal closed. Darkclan was gone. And my son was still here. How had everything gone right all at once? It seemed too good to be true.

It began to sink in as I watched, and cats began murmuring to one another in the dead silence. And then suddenly, it hit. It truly hit.


	25. What Seems Like a Happy Ever After

Cheers erupted everywhere, and I saw Ripplepaw jumping up and down, telling Lilypaw, who was awake, everything that had happened. Silverrose and Fogstar were sitting together, looking extremely battle-worn but happy. Tawnydapple, Arrowhead, Kestrelpaw, Leafsong, and just about everyone else was cheering as loud as they could.

But I had eyes for only one cat… my son. As if in a trance, I walked over to him, and he clambered down from the tree he had been holding on to, Echopaw at his side.

"Well," I said, not quite knowing what to say.

"Well," he agreed, and I licked him on top of the head.

"Heartscorn!" Lilypaw came running up to her brother. She was almost as big as him now. Hesitantly, she touched her tail to his shoulder, and Heartscorn smiled at her.

"Lilypaw! I'm back!" he cried, putting his own tail around Echopaw's shoulders. She was smiling hugely.

"So… you two are…" I said, glancing back and forth between Echopaw and Heartscorn uncertainly, and Heartscorn nodded proudly.

"I love her," he said simply. "She helped me fight my dark side." Ripplepaw then came bounding over, and there was yet another heartwarming reunion.

"Heartscorn?" Fogstar asked, coming over to us. He looked uncertain, and his tone was cold.

"What are you doing here? Why haven't you followed your clan to wherever they went off to?" He demanded. I winced, but Heartscorn didn't flinch at all.

"I am no longer a Darkclan cat," he insisted. I knew that that wasn't entirely true, that he would still have the Darkclan part of him within him always, but at least he had fought it back for the time being.

"Really?" Fogstar was in shock. The rest of the clan seemed to be listening by now.

"Truly," He replied solemnly.

"Well, then, Heartscorn doesn't fit you very well anymore, does it?" Fogstar mused. "You need a new name. Something bold…"

Pause. Now, remember when my kits were playing at Mountainclan, and I told you it was a prophetic game in some ways? Well, here we go:

"Heartscorn, from here on forth you shall be called Heartblaze. Use this name well, and fight for Leafclan now!" There was much celebration, and Heartblaze- the name suited him much better- went over to sit next to Echopaw. The two looked about to leave, when Fogstar called for silence.

"And Echopaw! Come forth, please." She stepped forward nervously, and Fogstar smiled warmly down at her. "You have proved yourself many times to Leafclan, and now we see that your heart has saved one of our number from a fate with Darkclan. You have earned your warrior name. Echopaw, from this day forth, you shall be known as Echofall." His eyes sparkled and he glanced at Heartblaze before continuing.

"Starclan honors you for your loyalty and passion." He smiled down at her, touching his nose to her head, and she licked his shoulder, completing a ceremony as old as time. Even it could not be disrupted by the arrival and departure of Darkclan.

"Darkclan is gone!" Fogstar cried, and everyone cheered wildly. Echofall and Heartblaze were off somewhere, talking quietly and smiling.

But there was one off note… Gingerspice and that other cat. They were standing on the edge of the trees, looking uncertain, and I padded over to them.

"So what happened back there?" I asked her, and she took a deep breath.

"Shiningmoon, you're not going to like this, but promise me you'll still be my friend." I promised her, confused, and then she told me everything.

"Lilacmist, here, and I, are the reincarnated daughters of Darkstar," she said, getting straight to the point. "We were destined to bring her down. But prophecies can lie… because that portal wasn't our doing. Anyway, she brought us to her during the battle. She expected us to join her, because we were her daughters. But don't you see, Shiningmoon? That's why they found me in a tree, alone, and that's why I don't remember my parents. I wonder if my father is Deadheart…"

I was speechless.

"What? You're… you're the daughter of Darkclan?" She nodded anxiously, as if she thought I would hate her just for who her parents were. I, of all people, understood that sort of thing, when it came to my kits.

"Gingerspice, I'm shocked, but you're still my best friend," I assured her, and she smiled.

"I should be getting back to Waterclan now," Lilacmist said, shifting uncomfortably. I nodded, startled. I had almost forgotten about her. She lifted her tail in farewell, and bounded out of the woods and out of sight. I smiled at Gingerspice, absolutely overwhelmed with everything, and we padded back into camp together.

For once, we could relax.


	26. Afterward

Yes, all was well. Happily ever after and so forth. But those who are in the present day Leafclan will beg to differ. All was at peace for quite some time in Leafclan, to be sure. In this course of time, Fogstar lost his last life, and Tawnydapple became Tawnystar. Silverrose had three kits, Swirlkit, Stormkit, and Whisperkit. And I received another heartbreak in the death of her my friend, Gingerspice, who was killed by a pack of dogs.

On the death of her previous apprentice, Leafsong recruited Lilypaw to abandon her warrior training and become a medicine cat. I guess I was just never destined to be a medicine cat, but maybe the gene carried on in my daughter. After a long while training, her name became none other than Lilypool, and Ripplepaw had her very own warrior ceremony, in which she became Rippleheart.

Now, in this period of time in which clan activity seemed somewhat normal, clan-wise, that is, there are a few scenes I'd like to relive for you. Now, before Leafclan moved away to a new location (I'll get to that) they lived beside three other clans, one of which was Fireclan. Somehow or another, a battle came up, and Rippleheart was selected to go on that battle patrol. . .

_Rippleheart_

The chaos of the battle was overwhelming, but I knew I was strong enough to defeat any of the warriors single-pawed. How? I felt something brewing in my mind, a raw, dark force, that seemed familiar somehow, that I had ignored for so long. It was surfacing in the heat of the battle, and through it, I gained strength.

A large tabby tom came tearing at me, and I remembered what it was like to fight a mortal cat. It was so much easier when they couldn't heal themselves! With one vicious slash, the warrior was on the ground, blood pooling from his belly. I laughed, the sound of it seeming strange, unfamiliar, but in the present situation I didn't notice it at all.

Slash after slash, kick after kick, I was lost in the battle, and my vision was going red. Were my eyes red? Somehow, I didn't care, but I didn't care about the warriors falling beneath my paws, either. I was strong, I was powerful… I was-

"NO!" The pain-filled cry pierced my hard exterior, and I paused mid-strike, looking around. A small, dainty, brown tabby queen was bending over a smaller form of herself, tears leaking from her eyes.

"Forestkit! FORESTKIT!" She turned to me, anguished, then looked down at her kit again. The sorrow in her eyes became something harder, meaner, and she ran forward before I could do a thing.

"You killed him! You killed my baby!" I was blank with shock. Had I? I frantically dug through my memories, and in that instant, I knew I had.

I was repulsed. I had killed a kit. What kind of a monster was I? I knew. A Darkclan one. And as the queen flew at me, claws unsheathed, I could do naught but stand there blankly, in a furious mental battle with myself. The queen had no mercy; I felt her claws pierce my pelt once, twice, three times, and I was on the ground. The pain was distant, as if coming from far away, and I felt blood running down my side, hot and sticky. New pricks of pain. My vision flickered and went out. Still I did nothing. My Darkclan side had caused me to do this, and I wouldn't stand for it… I was broken.

Something was screaming. Was it me? I thought it might be, but it didn't feel like I was. Agony was ripping through every nerve. White flashed across my blank vision, then vanished again, and I could feel my claws digging into the ground. What was going on? I could feel my heart stuttering, and I took frantic gulps of air. Had the queen, mad with grief, killed me? Well, I certainly deserved it… that did it.

With one painful shock, I felt something dark and ghostly leave me, and I was alone and still. I appeared to be drifting.

"…don't know what happened. She didn't defend herself…"

"Did she really kill that kit?"

"Well, it doesn't matter now… she's gone."

"RIPPLEHEART!" The sound of my mother's voice pierced my reverie, and I jolted upright, disturbing a great deal of cats that seemed to be clustered around me. Many scabs cracked on my side.

"I'm fine, I'm fine!" I insisted. My voice cracked. It was not mortal wounds that had nearly taken my life. It was the separation of my Darkclan side. And in that instant, I knew it was true. I was free of my Darkclan side.

"I'm all right," I repeated, and I smiled a little. Shiningmoon's face turned from anxious to relieved, and soon, she was smiling, too.

_I was free._

_Shiningmoon_

So Rippleheart had become independent of her Darkclan natures. But shortly after that, strange things started to happen. Cats started to have dreams. Sightings were reported. And then I knew… Darkclan was regrouping. And they would come back stronger than ever.

A series of events soon happened. Two brothers, Howlingwolf and Climbingbear, joined our clan, and something very strange happened- I fell in love. The older brother, Howlingwolf, had begun leaving things for me- honeycomb, soft moss, flowers. All of this was done anonymously, of course, but I always hoped, secretly, that it was the new cat, strong and handsome, steel gray in color.

And I was right. Howlingwolf and I had found each other, and on that very day, my eyes shone bright amber for the first time in a very, very long time.

Little did I know that the younger of the two brothers, Climbingbear, had decided to console Rippleheart one day when she was feeling down for some reason, I can't remember what, exactly, and they had developed a strong bond. And for a while, I was happy for them.

Until they decided to leave. Climbingbear appeared to have grown tired of the crowded clan, and had developed a longing for more space, more time with his love. With my daughter. Of course, Rippleheart would follow him everywhere… so she did. Though I was horribly distraught, I did not know that I would be seeing them again very shortly.

Love seemed to be in the air, because Arrowhead and Leafsong began spending more and more time together, strangely enough. And Leafsong… was a medicine cat. We all could tell what was happening, and worried, because Leafsong was a good medicine cat, but she couldn't stay when she was breaking the warrior code.

But then, she made a decision that astounded many.

She decided to become a warrior. Lilypool was left to become the sole medicine cat of Leafclan, and a good job she did of it, too, if I may say so myself.

Echopaw, who had become a warrior by the name of Echofall a long time ago, soon bore Heartblaze's kits: Rollkit, Harpkit, and Rockkit.

Rollkit became Lilypool's apprentice, Rollpaw, and Harpkit and Rockkit became warrior apprentices. All seemed well. But still, that feeling remained, that something was brewing, a distant storm.

A short while after his kits were born, Heartblaze vanished. No one saw him leave. No scent trail pointed away from camp. No one knew what to think, especially not me. I remembered to the days when I had had six kits (was it really that long ago?), and now I had one. And she was a full-grown medicine cat, nonetheless.

Now, enough of this tedious narration. Let us begin when the dreams began arriving, when Darkclan was rumored to be back, once more…


End file.
